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facelick

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facelick

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Visits<b>hippodankamus</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 3:42am<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 6:06am<b>seninaa</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 2:34pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 2:52pm<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:54am<b>xadoringx</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 5:44am<b>diesel_power</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:54am<b>danny_c_21</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:28pm<b>persianjr</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 2:22am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:36am<b>detectivedipsiht</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 5:28pm<b>okcnation</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:37am<b>AJlatour</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 9:16am<b>llamaslikesoda</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 3:05am<b>rybaby23</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 2:50pm<b>joea21</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 11:25pm<b>MissFeats</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 10:21am<b>moonlightknight</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 12:19am

facelick's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of facelick's badges

facelick's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up because we got into a fight over what color that confusing black and blue and white and gold dress was. FML

#21364239
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13832) - you deserved it (8044)

On 02/26/2015 at 10:07pm - love - by confused - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML

#21356659
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32532) - you deserved it (2690)

On 02/15/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark

Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML

#21355782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30658) - you deserved it (2916)

On 02/14/2015 at 4:46am - kids - by Investing in Toilet Seatbelts - United States (Nevada)

Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML

#21354035
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31083) - you deserved it (3304)

On 02/11/2015 at 11:11am - kids - by maybe? (woman) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her: "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home with no shopping. FML

#21352119
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43007) - you deserved it (2975)

On 02/08/2015 at 2:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I witnessed a man masturbate into a public urinal, miss, fart, and then leave without washing his hands. FML

#21347895
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31207) - you deserved it (2288)

On 02/01/2015 at 6:10pm - health - by grossedout - United States (Virginia)

Today, at Walmart, a crazy old woman bitched me out for being pregnant. She kept following me around, calling me a stupid teen slut and saying she hoped my baby died so I could live a "normal life". I'm 26 and just very short. FML

#21341527
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39856) - you deserved it (2216)

On 01/21/2015 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my boyfriend's best friend. She was a girl he's known for years, and I respected that. She was sweet, until my boyfriend went to the bathroom and she threatened to stab me if I don't leave him. He doesn't believe me, and accused me of having serious jealousy issues. FML

#21340122
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36867) - you deserved it (2388)

On 01/19/2015 at 8:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML

#21338134
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32838) - you deserved it (3100)

On 01/16/2015 at 7:49am - love - by SilverZephyr - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I dreamed that I cheated on my boyfriend. I was so overwhelmed with guilt that I called him while half-asleep to tell him about it and apologize. I'm fully awake now and he doesn't believe it was really a dream. FML

#21336949
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31883) - you deserved it (7228)

On 01/14/2015 at 12:35pm - love - by ihateeverything (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was trying on a shirt and asked my boyfriend if he liked it. He replied, "If I say no, can we still have sex tonight?" FML

#21336880
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29891) - you deserved it (5691)

On 01/14/2015 at 8:58am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His father was completely wasted, his mom was high, and his 11-year-old sister was talking about her favorite alcoholic drinks at the dinner table. FML

#21335369
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32042) - you deserved it (2589)

On 01/11/2015 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind: "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML

#21334531
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24186) - you deserved it (4261)

On 01/10/2015 at 3:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I got a gift-wrapped package in the mail from my racist mother-in-law. She's always hated me, so I thought it was a bit strange. Inside was a squirt gun and a note telling me to take my "black ass" for a walk around a police station with it, followed with a smiley face. FML

#21325871
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40269) - you deserved it (2984)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a gift-wrapped package in the mail from my racist mother-in-law. She's always hated me, so I thought it was a bit strange. Inside was a squirt gun and a note telling me to take my "black ass" for a walk around a police station with it, followed with a smiley face. FML

#21325871
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40269) - you deserved it (2984)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

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