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facelick

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facelick

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  • Number of visits : 902
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 6:06am<b>seninaa</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 2:34pm<b>robsmit98</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 2:52pm<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:54am<b>xadoringx</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 5:44am<b>diesel_power</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:54am<b>danny_c_21</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:28pm<b>persianjr</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 2:22am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:36am<b>detectivedipsiht</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 5:28pm<b>okcnation</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:37am<b>AJlatour</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 9:16am<b>llamaslikesoda</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 3:05am<b>rybaby23</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 2:50pm<b>joea21</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 11:25pm<b>MissFeats</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 10:21am<b>moonlightknight</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 12:19am<b>Beware00</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 10:10pm

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facelick's favorite FMLs

Today, a student's mother sent me an e-mail complaining that I was requiring her child to read a book containing mild profanity. She then demanded me to let him read an easier book. This would've been somewhat acceptable if the student wasn't in the 12th grade. FML

#21318762
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29703) - you deserved it (2264)

On 12/16/2014 at 9:11pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized that although I'm dating the most loveable, caring and genuine man, the fact that he's a crack addict means I'll never be his drug of choice when he needs a hit. FML

#21310760
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26442) - you deserved it (18405)

On 12/03/2014 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had a performance. I have to go bra-less to wear my gown and I didn't want any peek-a-boos. I asked my boyfriend to bring "large band-aids" without telling him why I needed them. He brought waterproof, top-notch tough ones. They're still stuck to me, and are not coming off anytime soon. FML

#21310328
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28920) - you deserved it (6135)

On 12/02/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by smiles (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after a huge fight, my girlfriend started coming onto me. I thought it was actual make-up sex and went along with it. It was great, until she suddenly shoved me off her just as I was almost ready to come. She smugly announced she was dumping me, got dressed, then left. FML

#21308219
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34849) - you deserved it (5751)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:08pm - intimacy - by blueballed (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

#21306286
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38128) - you deserved it (3148)

On 11/26/2014 at 3:45pm - misc - by void bowels() { cry(); } (man) - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML

#21305050
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37914) - you deserved it (2882)

On 11/24/2014 at 8:44am - love - by ohwell (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML

#21302056
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29458) - you deserved it (7130)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:03pm - love - by oops (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML

#21301367
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38362) - you deserved it (3653)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:26pm - misc - by drugsforthugs - United States (California)

Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

#21301256
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30248) - you deserved it (3051)

On 11/18/2014 at 5:41am - love - by jessiejaybee (woman) - United States

Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML

#21294812
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17575) - you deserved it (33096)

On 11/08/2014 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

#21292947
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36398) - you deserved it (2407)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Purple (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML

#21287196
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31068) - you deserved it (3310)

On 10/28/2014 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while reading 1984 on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML

#21284324
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35895) - you deserved it (2898)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML

#21284031
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32738) - you deserved it (5445)

On 10/23/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I offered "Girls Gone Wild" as an example of bad TV in my lecture thinking it was a reality TV show. It's porn. FML



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