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facelick

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facelick

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  • Number of visits : 664
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Just_A_Tree</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:54am<b>xadoringx</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 5:44am<b>diesel_power</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:54am<b>danny_c_21</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:28pm<b>persianjr</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 2:22am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:36am<b>detectivedipsiht</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 5:28pm<b>okcnation</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:37am<b>AJlatour</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 9:16am<b>llamaslikesoda</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 3:05am<b>rybaby23</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 2:50pm<b>joea21</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 11:25pm<b>MissFeats</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 10:21am<b>moonlightknight</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 12:19am<b>Beware00</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 10:10pm<b>garrett_8614</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 1:09pm<b>PancakeSlap</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 3:42pm<b>reymon8823</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 2:12am

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facelick's favorite FMLs

Today, I offered "Girls Gone Wild" as an example of bad TV in my lecture thinking it was a reality TV show. It's porn. FML

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31609) - you deserved it (3186)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I watched from my office window as a couple maneuvered their car to squash a dead pigeon flat on the road. I then watched as they got out of the car, set up tripods and started taking photos of it. FML

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

#21277425
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31992) - you deserved it (4406)

On 10/14/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by longdrive - United States (California)

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

#21275111
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30848) - you deserved it (18038)

On 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked a passenger what he wanted to drink. When he said marijuana, I started making pot jokes. He really asked for mineral water. I was given a drug test when we landed. FML

#21269829
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29716) - you deserved it (10235)

On 10/02/2014 at 9:55pm - work - by stewardess - United States (Texas)

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

#21269654
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29877) - you deserved it (3791)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my son was selling pot for pesos. We live in New Jersey and have never planned on going to Mexico. FML

#21268628
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37295) - you deserved it (4536)

On 09/30/2014 at 10:30pm - kids - by Potforapeso (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

#21267748
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39628) - you deserved it (3526)

On 09/29/2014 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I made up an ingenious plan to finally hook up with the guy I really like at a party. Well, the plan itself worked great. Too bad I got so drunk that I used it on the wrong person. FML

#21266978
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21157) - you deserved it (29815)

On 09/28/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML

#21265100
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30661) - you deserved it (9293)

On 09/25/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my date ditched me and showed up with another guy at the same restaurant. She even tried to take the reservation. FML

#21263789
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35445) - you deserved it (2213)

On 09/23/2014 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49251) - you deserved it (4705)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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