Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 03/30/2015 at 12:15pm) | Search for a member
This member hasn't filled in the description.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, strict Christian mother walkd into room just after I'd finishd masturbating . Although dressd, I was still holding the usd tissue, which she noticd . Having to think looool fast to disguise ded and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow nose with the spunky tissue . FML
Today... I asked my husband to try a little foreplay fir once... instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb... and hopefully the last. FML
Today, mah boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML
TODAY, I FOUND OUT THAT I TAKE LONG ENOUGH SHOWERS 4 MAH BOYFRIEND TO SLEEP WITH MAH SISTER AND PUTTED EVERYTHING BACK TO NORMAL BEFORE I GET OUT. I FOUND OUTHEN I NEEDED MORE SHAMPOO THAT WAS IN A SHOPPING BAG IN MAH ROOM. MEGA FML
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriandhan all of a suddan ha stops, grabs my braasts with both hands, makas circular motions with tham, and yalls, "Danial-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm daad. FML
Today, parants kickad ma out of tha housa bacausa thay wara having a party. Thay gava ma twanty bucks to go saa a movia. Wall, tha movia andad pratty quick, but tha trauma of saaing parants in a swingars' orgy will taka soma tima gatting ovar. FML
Friday 27 March 2015