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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17050) - you deserved it (4367)
Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5694) - you deserved it (22129)
On 03/15/2012 at 1:49pm - misc - by StinkyandStupid - United States
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25478) - you deserved it (4297)
On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16083) - you deserved it (3016)
On 03/10/2012 at 1:04am - love - by atsukobo - United States
Today, I was the 10th caller on a radio show. I answered the question correctly. The DJ informed I won a free air guitar of my choosing. I yelled with excitement over the air. The DJ then instructed me how to use my new air guitar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7980) - you deserved it (26496)
On 03/09/2012 at 11:55am - misc - by h4rdy (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33574) - you deserved it (6845)
On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19372) - you deserved it (3848)
Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24847) - you deserved it (1926)
On 01/25/2012 at 12:03am - work - by Benjamin - United States (California)
Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30897) - you deserved it (4131)
On 11/17/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18821) - you deserved it (11151)
On 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by yum yogurt - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I drove home on my birthday, and my mom said she'd meet me there. I was a little surprised to get home and find she wasn't there, but even more shocked to see my rabbit run over in my driveway. Turns out he'd gotten loose and my mom had run him over, panicked, and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22700) - you deserved it (1351)
On 10/29/2011 at 7:02am - animals - by Noname - United States
Today, I drove home on my birthday, and my mom said she'd meet me there. I was a little surprised to get home and find she wasn't there, but even more shocked to see my rabbit run over in my driveway. Turns out he'd gotten loose and my mom had run him over, panicked, and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22700) - you deserved it (1351)
On 10/29/2011 at 7:02am - animals - by Noname - United States
Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15306) - you deserved it (27691)
On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was asked if my bellybutton was an 'innie' or an 'outtie.' My bellybutton has been hidden by fat for so long that I couldn't remember. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8378) - you deserved it (26135)
On 10/06/2011 at 8:40pm - misc - by knzknz - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was asked if my bellybutton was an 'innie' or an 'outtie.' My bellybutton has been hidden by fat for so long that I couldn't remember. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8378) - you deserved it (26135)
On 10/06/2011 at 8:40pm - misc - by knzknz - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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