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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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f_my_flip_life

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f_my_flip_life
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 520
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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I agree, their lives suck

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f_my_flip_life's favorite FMLs

Today, the pervert in my computer class asked me if I "mowed my lawn." Not knowing this was a vaguely sexual term, I replied, "No, my dad does." FML

#18983166 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (8406) - you deserved it (1576)

On 02/03/2012 at 9:47am - intimacy - by xX_nsn_Xx (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

#18966203 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (7108) - you deserved it (1523)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:13am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML

#18904057 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (8641) - you deserved it (747)

On 01/25/2012 at 12:03am - work - by Benjamin - United States (California)

Today, I was doing the reverse cowgirl with my boyfriend. I was on the way to a glorious finish when he pointed out that I had a pimple on my butt. He began to laugh so hard that he went soft. FML

#18271513 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (11327) - you deserved it (1554)

On 11/17/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

#18112620 (314)

I agree, your life sucks (6754) - you deserved it (4144)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by yum yogurt - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I drove home on my birthday, and my mom said she'd meet me there. I was a little surprised to get home and find she wasn't there, but even more shocked to see my rabbit run over in my driveway. Turns out he'd gotten loose and my mom had run him over, panicked, and left. FML

#18101830 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (9314) - you deserved it (576)

On 10/29/2011 at 7:02am - animals - by Noname - United States

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (14211) - you deserved it (25972)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was asked if my bellybutton was an 'innie' or an 'outtie.' My bellybutton has been hidden by fat for so long that I couldn't remember. FML

#17922863 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (3200) - you deserved it (10293)

On 10/06/2011 at 8:40pm - misc - by knzknz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

#17659578 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (10516) - you deserved it (2383)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

#17470290 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (8279) - you deserved it (2769)

On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, while I was sleeping, my girlfriend took my phone and set the ringtone to a bloodcurdling scream. I found this out when I received a call while driving to work and, thinking someone was being murdered in my backseat, I panicked and swerved into a parked car. FML

#16448607 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (13714) - you deserved it (1733)

On 06/01/2011 at 7:53am - misc - by iscreamforicecream (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (14509) - you deserved it (22238)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML

#14622916 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (24279) - you deserved it (2438)

On 01/18/2011 at 3:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (9917) - you deserved it (25775) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was casually looking through my girlfriend's phone while she got ready, though she made me promise not to. To my confusion, I discovered that she had me listed as 'Saturday' in her contacts. There was also a Thursday, Friday and Sunday listed. I only ever see her on Saturdays. FML

#13520163 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (32404) - you deserved it (6829)

On 10/20/2010 at 12:47am - love - by iprobablyhaveherpes - Australia (Western Australia)