This member hasn't filled in their description.
f3licia_xo's FML badges
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
f3licia_xo's favorite FMLs
Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML
by oops / 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm / United States (California) / Love
by pantyripper / 03/24/2014 at 8:39am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, my friends hired a male stripper to give me a lap dance for my birthday. It was all pretty nice until he let rip one of the most nauseating farts I've ever encountered, right in my face. Hours later, I can still smell it. FML
by polebitch49 / 03/14/2014 at 4:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by are you kidding me? / 03/10/2014 at 4:22am / United Kingdom (Ealing) / Miscellaneous
by dontgothere / 02/22/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/23/2013 at 8:29pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by quit fucking up my life / 11/22/2013 at 8:08pm / United States (Alaska) / Love
by :( / 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by neonstarr / 10/30/2013 at 6:41am / New Zealand / Miscellaneous
Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML
by Oh-Shit! / 08/10/2013 at 11:23am / United States / Health
by a man / 07/13/2013 at 9:20am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML
by Anonymous / 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancée told me that she wants us to have an open marriage. She reasons that since she doesn't equate sex with love, there's no logical reason for me to be against her having sex with other people. FML
by ApparentlyNotEno / 06/05/2013 at 4:40pm / United States (West Virginia) / Love
Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML
by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML
by o___O" / 05/10/2013 at 4:11pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was trying to get my nail polish off in a rush. I had my nail polish remover propped up in… Today, my boyfriend was visiting and thought it would be funny to put his handcuffs on my wrists.… Today, I've finally begun to realize that my boyfriend calls his cat more relationship pet-names in…