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eyeroc1961's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2012 at 2:20am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML
by fiftyshardsofbroccoli / 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm / United States / Intimacy
by notthebesttime / 10/13/2012 at 8:04am / Intimacy
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
by cumhole / 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML
by SoSexy / 10/07/2012 at 6:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by blueballs / 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/13/2012 at 1:30am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML
by Bethany / 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend cutely climbed through my bedroom window for some sexy time. He decided he'd introduce bondage. As I was tied to the bed, completely naked, we heard the front door open. He got scared and left via the window, leaving me handcuffed to my bed. FML
by dafuqdidihear / 08/11/2012 at 2:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by noname / 04/27/2012 at 8:04am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by hatinthelife / 02/18/2012 at 1:34am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
by omgwhyme / 01/08/2012 at 9:36am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today I received a phone call for a reservation (I'm a B&B owner) for 12 firefighters (he said they… Today, I decided to sink low enough to sign up for one of those 'get paid for taking a survey site'… Today, I went to my friends house that I haven't heard from in two weeks. Literally had to take a…