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explodedtaco

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explodedtaco

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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1011
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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explodedtaco's page activity

Visits<b>Ghilliebro</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 2:44pm<b>ValVee92</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 11:21pm<b>superbopbop</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 11:26pm<b>ccrawks</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:38am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 10:33am<b>LittleAlpaca</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 10:32am

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Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

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explodedtaco's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML

#21378385
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25280) - you deserved it (3083)

On 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I woke up this morning in a panic. Last night, I heard scratching at my door, but I thought it was just my cat and went back to sleep. This morning, it hit me that my cat is 600 miles away living with my mom in Iowa. I'm terrified to even sleep now. FML

#21370427
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31809) - you deserved it (2534)

On 03/08/2015 at 10:41am - animals - by no salt, no burning, just STFU (man) - United States

Today, I have been at my new job for almost a month and still have no idea what I'm doing. FML

#21367094
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26263) - you deserved it (10155)

On 03/03/2015 at 5:15am - work - by soconfused (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, a man approached me and told me he wanted to drink my dirty bath water. FML

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21361311
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31784) - you deserved it (4520)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by headache - United States

Today, my bed fell through my floor. With me on it. FML

#21352624
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34150) - you deserved it (3041)

On 02/09/2015 at 8:26am - misc - by wtf?? - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

Today, my cat had the bright idea of giving birth in the dryer, on top of all my new white towels. FML

#21344486
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25510) - you deserved it (5188)

On 01/26/2015 at 10:21am - animals - by HannaMD - Canada

Today, I mixed up my chapstick and cork grease. Now my clarinet smells like cherries, and my lips smell like a gym floor. FML

#21340194
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28867) - you deserved it (6326)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tripped over a "wet floor" sign at work and hit the floor hard. The floor wasn't even wet. FML

#21336915
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28358) - you deserved it (4368)

On 01/14/2015 at 10:35am - work - by kronic1990 - United Kingdom

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

#21334934
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28749) - you deserved it (2338)

On 01/11/2015 at 3:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, I woke up at 4am needing a piss, only to walk in on my fuckstick brother combing his pubes with our mom's toothbrush. FML

#21329304
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30151) - you deserved it (2170)

On 01/02/2015 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML

#21326143
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30499) - you deserved it (15281)

On 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, thanks to some asswipe drunk driver fleeing the cops the wrong way down a one-way street, I've now had my third wreck this year. My insurance premium's now higher than Bob Marley in a weed factory. FML

#21321099
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31613) - you deserved it (2742)

On 12/20/2014 at 7:53pm - money - by financially_wreckd (man) -

Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML

#21320813
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31712) - you deserved it (2409)

On 12/20/2014 at 9:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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