Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

explodedtaco

Offline (21 hours ago) | Search for a member

explodedtaco

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 445
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

explodedtaco's page activity

Visits<b>superbopbop</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 11:26pm<b>ccrawks</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:38am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 10:33am<b>LittleAlpaca</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 10:32am

explodedtaco's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of explodedtaco's badges

explodedtaco's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44102) - you deserved it (3336)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, my dad forgot I was on the back of his motorbike. He did a wheelie and I fell off. FML

Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML

#21261532
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32405) - you deserved it (7674)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm - misc - by camerashyguy - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

#21261512
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35955) - you deserved it (3369)

On 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm - misc - by failingdaily - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I took a shit of biblical proportions. I flushed and opened a window, but my pregnant wife went in straight after me. Her morning sickness kicked in and she quickly ran out, vomit dripping from her mouth. She's pissed and thinks I planned the whole thing as a prank. FML

#21258820
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33733) - you deserved it (3513)

On 09/15/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31621) - you deserved it (18203)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39680) - you deserved it (13875)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, I broke my nose trying to pop a zit. FML

#21168348
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44623) - you deserved it (20209)

On 06/09/2014 at 3:36pm - health - by blanknameisblank (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was talking to one of my British friends online, and he told me to say "yew anchors" a few times really fast. I'm a fairly stupid person, and wasn't very focused, so I did as he said. When I finally figured what the words meant, my dad had heard and grounded me for cursing. FML

#21161539
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30792) - you deserved it (9110)

On 06/03/2014 at 11:36am - kids - by properpissed (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

#21137819
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46971) - you deserved it (6113)

On 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm - misc - by Jarool - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML

#21106752
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19632) - you deserved it (43784)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:02pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was in bed staring at two red lights coming from my DVD player. They reminded me of the terminator movies, and I had to unplug it. I'm 23 years old and scared of The Terminator. FML

#21080429
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34193) - you deserved it (8292)

On 03/07/2014 at 10:41am - misc - by scaredypants123 - United States

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

#21076106
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52424) - you deserved it (13360)

On 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm - animals - by Anonytard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML

#21074219
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42289) - you deserved it (19727)

On 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

Today, at my job as a librarian at an old library, I was shelving books. Things were great until one entire bookshelf fell over. The damage wasn't too bad. Then the rest fell down. FML

#21072866
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36576) - you deserved it (3503)

On 02/27/2014 at 1:21am - work - by FallCameEarly (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • On FML, it's Halloween every day
  • As you know, we never pass up the chance to open up a light beer and plunge into the depths of the FML archive to come up with some sort of theme. Most holidays, national or otherwise, are pretty well represented.…

Friday 31 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: