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  • Town/Country : Macon, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 June 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3076
  • Number of comments : 215
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About expertsmilee : Gamer at heart, more feelings than most guys, make love not war.

expertsmilee's page activity

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expertsmilee's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33278) - you deserved it (4707)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, the guy I've been dating for 3 weeks showed up at my house at 7 AM. I was about to give him a kiss when he said, "Good morning, is Sarah here?" I was confused until I realized he didn't recognize me because I had no make up on. FML

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30896) - you deserved it (4510)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:02am - intimacy - by alison (woman) - United States

Today, my intern was given his own office. I have been asking to move out of my cubicle for nearly four years. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25457) - you deserved it (2148)

On 06/30/2015 at 5:57am - work - by bosslady (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, a woman came through drive-thru and placed a long order while screaming at her kids in back. When we forgot a doughnut, she became enraged, threw her iced coffees at me, told me I was a no-life and that I always get her order wrong. It's my first day and I was only giving her the order. FML

Today, my pinky finger found out how much a king size bed weighs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24015) - you deserved it (2701)

On 06/22/2015 at 11:12am - health - by akimbojuju - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after I drove two hours to his house, because he wanted to do it face to face. Then told me that if I wanted, we could have sex one last time, but I would have to leave right after, otherwise it would be weird. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29980) - you deserved it (2433)

On 06/22/2015 at 10:41am - intimacy - by bonzo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24508) - you deserved it (12156)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:41am - misc - by HURP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after 5 years in a row of my family doing absolutely nothing to even acknowledge my birthday, I got train tickets to see my boyfriend for the weekend and celebrate with him. I woke up to 6 angry texts about how I'm 'selfish' for not staying at home with my family. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33334) - you deserved it (2259)

On 06/15/2015 at 9:39am - misc - by happy21sttome (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I started working my new summer job at McDonald's. Only 2 hours into my first shift, my tooth falls out onto a young girl's tray of food. Not only did she see it, but my managers and other people waiting in line all saw it. I don't think I have a summer job anymore. FML

Today, I learned that not only do wood ticks have a habit of dropping off of branches onto you as you walk under them, they also like to hang out in groups of five or six. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24931) - you deserved it (1977)

On 06/06/2015 at 12:19pm - animals - by seadrick (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I overheard my wife telling my mother-in-law I was diagnosed with a learning disability earlier this week. She replied, "I always knew he was a retard. Why did you ever marry that idiot?" All my wife did was mutter "I don't know." FML


I agree, your life sucks (28950) - you deserved it (2184)

On 06/04/2015 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Maldives (Maale)

Today, it's been exactly 2 years since I graduated college. I make less money in my full-time job now than I did working part-time in college. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32303) - you deserved it (2989)

On 05/26/2015 at 12:50pm - money - by Real Life Sucks - United States

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32661) - you deserved it (4583)

On 05/12/2015 at 8:53am - intimacy - by Darryl - Australia (Queensland)

Today, during a very stressful and busy day at work, I took a bathroom break. Unfortunately, of all the things on my mind, taking down my pants before emptying my bladder wasn't one of them. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29148) - you deserved it (7505)

On 05/10/2015 at 10:34am - misc - by pissed (man) - United States (Michigan)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #20
  • Here we are in November! Winter is here, for most of us, it's dark, grey and depressing and if you're the kind of person who watches network news 24/7, you're probably going to need some cheering up.…

Monday 30 November 2015

The whole blog

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