Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

expertsmilee

Offline (yesterday at 10:13am) | Search for a member

expertsmilee

62Fucked!

expertsmileeexpertsmilee
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 June 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3320
  • Number of comments : 229
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About expertsmilee : Gamer at heart, more feelings than most guys, make love not war.

expertsmilee's page activity

Visits<b>ChinchillaLady</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 2:28pm<b>imightbeobama</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 10:49am<b>taterrtots</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 1:22pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 8:57pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 5:34pm<b>SlothCat</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 9:57am<b>Tenker</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 10:26pm<b>lkah</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 3:43am<b>tranced_</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 2:08am<b>eski2015</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 6:39pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 2:58pm<b>delilablue95</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 1:24am<b>joecool86</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 12:15am<b>PartnersInCrime</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 1:00pm<b>Artigedude65</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 10:59am<b>SAGARCo</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 10:02am<b>alexishbu</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 7:52am<b>ben57rocks</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 7:37am

Fucked!<b>eski2015</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 12:39am<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 11:43am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 4:40am<b>ginnyboo</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 4:44am<b>hi_im_ughlee</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 4:06am<b>nityasomaiya</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 10:17am<b>orios105</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 10:10am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 10/04/2015 at 2:53am<b>twister45</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 4:42pm<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 11:14am<b>Thatissarcastic</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 6:17pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 7:43am<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:27am<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 1:45pm<b>luridz</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 4:51am<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 12:46am<b>boofuckinhoo</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 4:02am<b>LeavenSilva</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 8:50am

expertsmilee's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of expertsmilee's badges

expertsmilee's favorite FMLs

Today, my sick semi-delusional boyfriend, whom I've been taking care of for days, accused me of trying to poison him so that I could play World of Warcraft. FML

#21517791
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18394) - you deserved it (1534)

On 01/21/2016 at 1:17pm - love - by Septy (woman) - Spain (Andalucia)

Today, I realised what kind of man I married when I finally shelved his book, "Getting Things Done", still untouched 3 months after buying it. FML

#21517718
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16634) - you deserved it (2374)

On 01/21/2016 at 8:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy by text. I felt so betrayed, I stupidly tried to hurt her by replying that I'd been cheating on her all along with a hot babe. Turned out the dumping text was actually a prank by her friend. Now I'm single and everyone thinks I'm a cheater. FML

#21515762
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14304) - you deserved it (26318)

On 01/16/2016 at 12:04am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my new upstairs neighbors. They have a four month old child and appear to be firm believers in the "let them cry it out" philosophy. The baby's room is right above mine. A few days of trying to sleep through this shit and I'll look like a Walking Dead extra. FML

#21513493
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20615) - you deserved it (1408)

On 01/10/2016 at 8:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to listen to my brother whine yet again about being single and how unfair it is. This is a guy who owns an "I fuck on the first date" t-shirt and has more than once referred to women as "vaginas with a person attached". Last time I called him out for being such a dick, I got punched. FML

#21510935
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24301) - you deserved it (1731)

On 01/03/2016 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, I threw a punch at my sensei like he told me to, except he failed to block it like he assured me he would. Now I'm banned from his classes and I'm pretty sure he's going to get the police involved. FML

#21506859
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24261) - you deserved it (1701)

On 12/23/2015 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my husband came home from a six-month business trip. When I saw him, I hugged and kissed him. My grandma started calling me a slutty whore, and told us we were a disgrace to our family, while trying to hit him with her cane. FML

#21504229
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23582) - you deserved it (1469)

On 12/15/2015 at 11:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

#21499606
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23409) - you deserved it (3461)

On 12/03/2015 at 7:52am - intimacy - by snortingspunk (woman) - South Africa

Today, a girl I'd been talking to all night actually wanted to come home with me. Stopped to buy condoms. Got home, clothes came off, took out a condom. "Sorry, I'm allergic to latex". She left in a cab. I'm a 27-year old virgin for another night and now have a box of condoms to remind me. FML

#21497787
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26195) - you deserved it (2858)

On 11/28/2015 at 9:32am - intimacy - by ohgodwhyfml (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I started dreaming about being at work. I already work more hours a week than I requested, and I live right across from my work and can see it out my window. I can never leave. FML

#21495858
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21903) - you deserved it (1961)

On 11/23/2015 at 12:00pm - work - by helpme (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend canceled our date last-minute. He claimed he had no time because he had to iron his towels. FML

#21493926
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23957) - you deserved it (2115)

On 11/18/2015 at 6:40am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, as I had a chat with my boyfriend and a couple of his friends, one of them had brought up my boyfriend's son and his other child who was due any day now. The conversation would have went well, had I known that he had a son and a pregnant girlfriend. FML

#21493135
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29382) - you deserved it (2421)

On 11/16/2015 at 7:25am - love - by I Know How to Pick'em - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received the honorary title of "student of the month," because I'm the only quiet kid during class. Truth is, I just have no friends. I was given an award for being socially awkward. FML

#21483523
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24206) - you deserved it (2352)

On 10/23/2015 at 6:33pm - misc - by AlwaysAfraid (woman) - United States

Today, I spent two hours researching ways to fake my death, just so I can escape my crazy, overbearing stalker of a mum. FML

#21481003
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22931) - you deserved it (2703)

On 10/17/2015 at 4:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: