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expertsmilee

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expertsmilee

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 June 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1467
  • Number of comments : 148
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About expertsmilee : Leedaleedaleedalee

expertsmilee's page activity

Visits<b>mentallizzard</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 11:49pm<b>SecretAgent_700</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 7:54pm<b>lunar999</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 8:21am<b>fvt</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 11:47pm<b>DerpyPotatoes</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 10:45pm<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:37pm<b>ItsKennyBaby</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 8:16pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 9:31am<b>benjamin123123</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 9:01am<b>wsdarrah</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 9:53pm<b>17031990</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 1:38pm<b>CAEDI</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 2:54am<b>adamant84</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 8:14pm<b>mischiefkel</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 7:19pm<b>boomous1</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 1:56am<b>Rayes</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 10:42am<b>DefiantGirl</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 2:14pm<b>ThisIsJohn</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 9:41pm

Liked!<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 4:32am<b>juststephhere</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 12:52am

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expertsmilee's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36384) - you deserved it (3589)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

#21312961
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20336) - you deserved it (32766)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:10am - misc - by .__. (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML

#21310827
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35142) - you deserved it (3195)

On 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm - work - by WTF - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

#21306286
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38113) - you deserved it (3148)

On 11/26/2014 at 3:45pm - misc - by void bowels() { cry(); } (man) - United Kingdom (Caerphilly)

Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML

#21283844
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35778) - you deserved it (2918)

On 10/23/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by Alexismaria - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35031) - you deserved it (4120)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I didn't make dinner fast enough so somebody had a yelling and screaming temper tantrum. It would be understandable if the person who threw the tantrum was a child, and not my 57-year-old father. FML

#21283737
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30106) - you deserved it (2448)

On 10/23/2014 at 11:56am - misc - by mnote (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went to use the porta potty at the construction site I work at and found two homeless people having sex in it. I almost got fired, because my advisor blamed me. FML

#21264426
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (337) - you deserved it (2684)

On 09/24/2014 at 9:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was checking my schedule online and noticed that I wasn't scheduled for any shifts next week. Not thinking it was a big deal, I called HR to get it corrected, only to find out I was laid off and they "forgot" to tell me. FML

#21254078
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37874) - you deserved it (2293)

On 09/07/2014 at 10:31pm - work - by soontobehobo (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML

#21249696
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38887) - you deserved it (3714)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by mayoshampoo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to cancel my plans to go see my grandma, because I wasn't feeling too well. I called her to apologize, but she had trouble remembering who I was. When I told her my name, she said "Oh, the FAT one." Yes grandma, the fat one. FML

#21249110
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38867) - you deserved it (5051)

On 08/31/2014 at 3:27pm - kids - by TheFatOne - United States

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46901) - you deserved it (3803)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I almost got lucky with a girl from my course. We've been flirting since we met. After removing her top and moving downwards with my tongue, whilst moaning my name she decided to mention she has a boyfriend and that we needed to stop. FML

#21248283
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47371) - you deserved it (4715)

On 08/30/2014 at 2:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, after my windshield wipers being stolen twice in a row, I decided to hide in my car to catch the thief. I fell asleep. When I woke up, the new wipers were gone. FML

#21246432
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37342) - you deserved it (8827)

On 08/27/2014 at 1:19pm - misc - by spark - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed my karate instructor whimper and practically piss himself as a guy walked up to him in the street and demanded his wallet. What a total waste of hundreds of dollars' worth of lessons. FML

#21244527
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33574) - you deserved it (3709)

On 08/24/2014 at 4:45pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)



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