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expertsmilee

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expertsmilee

30Fucked!

expertsmileeexpertsmilee
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 June 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2080
  • Number of comments : 173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About expertsmilee : Leedaleedaleedalee

expertsmilee's page activity

Visits<b>Malteser95</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Googolman</b> - 21 hours ago<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - 23 hours ago<b>lyricalservant</b> - yesterday at 1:55am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 9:22pm<b>yosico22</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 11:35am<b>cherribomb</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 12:40pm<b>we_are_awsome</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 7:37pm<b>tompom331</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 1:40pm<b>CMaddawg361</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 11:53am<b>Shamanskinator</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:45pm<b>meganmax</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 11:12pm<b>kittyisbaeornaw</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 10:29pm<b>Lilbrunswick7</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:40am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 7:44pm<b>firecracker5</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 6:02am<b>McFuzzyMan</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 1:34pm<b>CAC_Boomerang</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 8:31am

Fucked!<b>Lilbrunswick7</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 2:40pm<b>Sansa</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:18pm<b>elljoy</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 5:11am<b>Teckzilla</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 11:32pm<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 11:03pm<b>sarcasm_insanity</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 9:31pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 12:00am<b>haileyrows</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 10:25pm<b>asantos4</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 8:03am<b>adripadri</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 6:44am<b>horseh</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 5:41am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 3:26am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 5:34pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 5:03pm<b>C00kiesNcream</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 4:10pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 9:58am<b>brieee</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 6:41am<b>snarkytruth</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 5:35pm

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expertsmilee's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML

#21408859
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28317) - you deserved it (3797)

On 05/12/2015 at 8:53am - intimacy - by Darryl - Australia (Queensland)

Today, during a very stressful and busy day at work, I took a bathroom break. Unfortunately, of all the things on my mind, taking down my pants before emptying my bladder wasn't one of them. FML

#21407716
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27783) - you deserved it (6975)

On 05/10/2015 at 10:34am - misc - by pissed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to go to a boring, never-ending "sensitivity training" session, all because my douchebag coworker filed a complaint against me last week after I apologized for being tardy. Apparently I was insulting people with mental disorders. Or as she put it, "differently-abled" people. FML

#21403264
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27496) - you deserved it (2520)

On 05/02/2015 at 4:04am - work - by tumblrinas_at_work (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my sister's kitten walked away from his litter box, jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eyes, then peed directly onto my laptop. FML

#21401720
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29224) - you deserved it (2751)

On 04/29/2015 at 12:06pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, my mom told me that if I wanted to commit suicide, I should make it seem like a car accident, and not do it in the house, because she would be too embarrassed if people thought she was a bad parent. FML

#21401085
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36217) - you deserved it (2624)

On 04/28/2015 at 9:26am - misc - by WasNotAdopted (man) - United States (California)

Today, during my shift at work, I started to feel really sick and started throwing up. While I had my head in a bag, I had several customers ask me for directions and another customer abuse me for my lack of service. FML

#21400980
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27734) - you deserved it (2072)

On 04/28/2015 at 1:24am - health - by vomitgirl - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I had to have a cervical biopsy. The doctor said I would feel slight cramping as she scraped cells from inside the cervix. I guess by "slight cramping" she meant I would shit, throw up, and then pass out. FML

#21395495
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30720) - you deserved it (1958)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:15pm - health - by khaoslife - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. FML

#21395494
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28111) - you deserved it (2189)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:12pm - love - by pandapantsMD (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found my first bra and tried it on. It still fits. FML

#21388113
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31388) - you deserved it (3279)

On 04/05/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Itsbeen8years (woman) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet whatsoever. I turned on my phone to get notifications, hoping to see a message or two that I'd missed while gone. There was 1 notification, telling me how many FMLs were posted while I was away. FML

#21388075
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29347) - you deserved it (2761)

On 04/05/2015 at 2:03pm - misc - by supercharged - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my parents, my aunt and her husband went out to dinner. There, my aunt told us that she was pregnant, and out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML

#21387788
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24866) - you deserved it (14694)

On 04/04/2015 at 11:06pm - kids - by TKPhai - United States (California)

Today, my dad and I were having a conversation about boneless chicken. He told me that they are raised boneless, going into detail, and I bought every word of it. Not until he started laughing did I realize how gullible I really am. I'm 22. FML

#21344889
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15236) - you deserved it (25617)

On 01/27/2015 at 12:43am - misc - by katrina2d (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

#21341346
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31936) - you deserved it (2637)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:29pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had to negotiate with my husband so he would bring me toilet paper while I was on the john. His terms? A blowjob. FML

#21334864
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30586) - you deserved it (6397)

On 01/11/2015 at 12:56am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was fired for "blatant, inexcusable racism". My boss had asked me which website background I preferred for our company, and I said that white backgrounds are usually best. He thinks that I believe in white supremacy, and that's bad for the company's image. FML

#21334747
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32863) - you deserved it (2423)

On 01/10/2015 at 10:02pm - work - by Jem (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



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