About expertsmilee : Leedaleedaleedalee
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30764) - you deserved it (2558)
On 06/16/2013 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by scarredforlife - United States (New York)
Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43394) - you deserved it (2746)
On 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm - misc - by thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom
Today, after being told by her therapist to try to make her kids a bigger part of her life because we're so distant from her, my mom's new favorite thing to do is to constantly use the words "YOLO" and "swag" around us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45136) - you deserved it (4501)
On 05/28/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50277) - you deserved it (15458)
On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my 6-year-old son spotted a bumper sticker that said, "Get any closer and I'll fart." He thought this was so hilarious that he had to repeat it to everyone he met. Including my doctor, my grandma, and my boss at "bring your kid to work day." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31536) - you deserved it (4015)
On 05/23/2013 at 6:48pm - kids - by Mary (woman) - United States
Today, I went for an interview regarding a seasonal position I'd been offered at a grocery store. The manager showed up 45 minutes past the scheduled interview time, cheerfully greeted me, and took me back to his office, just to tell me that they don't hire seasonal help. Ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38005) - you deserved it (2839)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by ineedayob (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40328) - you deserved it (2556)
On 05/15/2013 at 5:47pm - work - by Seriously? (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37370) - you deserved it (3428)
On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37115) - you deserved it (3965)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by wellokaythen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was feeling really sick at work. I messaged my boss whether his girlfriend, who also works there, could cover me. He then came down, shouting at me that whatever illness I have, I've also passed on to his girlfriend. I'm pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41789) - you deserved it (2804)
On 04/22/2013 at 9:22am - work - by work -_- - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32408) - you deserved it (3151)
On 04/10/2013 at 5:06am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42116) - you deserved it (8000)
On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was at my job, waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible thumpers. They left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service, telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately, Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27409) - you deserved it (4320)
On 03/25/2013 at 4:48am - money - by PrayingForMoney - United States (California)
Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32308) - you deserved it (14676)
On 03/21/2013 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Monday 17 June 2013
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