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expertsmilee

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expertsmilee

51Fucked!

expertsmileeexpertsmilee
  • Town/Country : Macon, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 June 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2660
  • Number of comments : 201
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About expertsmilee : Gamer at heart, more feelings than most guys, make love not war.

expertsmilee's page activity

Visits<b>vitalidol</b> - yesterday at 3:22pm<b>symfora</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 10:51am<b>wantmeasandwich</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 8:29am<b>insanecutie</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:01pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 11:28am<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 8:32pm<b>Darkblade21</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 6:26pm<b>C7</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 4:12pm<b>IncognitoPoison</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 3:47pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 2:12pm<b>MaDCrackeT</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 5:23am<b>MaeJae110814</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 9:07pm<b>melinda_myers</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 10:57pm<b>clairesucks</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 2:53am<b>girI</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 4:05am<b>MissEris</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 3:08am<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 3:58pm<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 7:45am

Fucked!<b>insanecutie</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 8:03am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 7:43am<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:27am<b>teapotrevolt</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 1:45pm<b>luridz</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 4:51am<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 12:46am<b>boofuckinhoo</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 4:02am<b>LeavenSilva</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 8:50am<b>xmann277</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 11:55pm<b>muzy</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 5:12pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 11:54am<b>salyhahaha</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 4:16pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 5:24am<b>Jflowers9296</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 11:56pm<b>SnakesLife</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 11:07pm<b>Epickitty58</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 9:28pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 6:11am<b>nonsensical</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 11:56am

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expertsmilee's favorite FMLs

Today, I was telling my coworker that I was considering quitting the shady, 50-shades-of-scum business we work at. He snitched to our boss, who quickly fired me on bullshit charges of incompetence, theft, and workplace bullying. I guess I'm not getting a good reference from him. FML

#21461238
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19002) - you deserved it (5140)

On 08/27/2015 at 4:37am - work - by Anon (man) - United States

Today, my sister recorded the sound of me having intense diarrhea, retching at the stench, and eventually breaking down in tears. I only found out when I saw she'd posted it online, with the caption "lol #gaytard #sorrynotsorry". I've never been called a pussy by so many people before. FML

#21457966
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20972) - you deserved it (3563)

On 08/19/2015 at 8:14am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML

#21457054
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17115) - you deserved it (35460)

On 08/17/2015 at 4:33am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to vacuum to surprise my mom with a clean house. The vacuum started shorting out, sparked, and then burst into flames mid living room. FML

#21456542
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24182) - you deserved it (1866)

On 08/16/2015 at 12:10am - misc - by fire starter - United States (California)

Today, my love life is so pathetic that when I got a sample of cologne in the mail, I kept sniffing it just to remind myself what a guy smells like. FML

#21455591
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22109) - you deserved it (3151)

On 08/13/2015 at 1:12pm - love - by so_this_is_me (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML

#21443327
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29333) - you deserved it (4524)

On 07/18/2015 at 1:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

#21442690
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32554) - you deserved it (4582)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, the guy I've been dating for 3 weeks showed up at my house at 7 AM. I was about to give him a kiss when he said, "Good morning, is Sarah here?" I was confused until I realized he didn't recognize me because I had no make up on. FML

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

#21436148
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29349) - you deserved it (4289)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:02am - intimacy - by alison (woman) - United States

Today, my intern was given his own office. I have been asking to move out of my cubicle for nearly four years. FML

#21434251
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24940) - you deserved it (2087)

On 06/30/2015 at 5:57am - work - by bosslady (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, a woman came through drive-thru and placed a long order while screaming at her kids in back. When we forgot a doughnut, she became enraged, threw her iced coffees at me, told me I was a no-life and that I always get her order wrong. It's my first day and I was only giving her the order. FML

Today, my pinky finger found out how much a king size bed weighs. FML

#21430073
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23662) - you deserved it (2667)

On 06/22/2015 at 11:12am - health - by akimbojuju - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after I drove two hours to his house, because he wanted to do it face to face. Then told me that if I wanted, we could have sex one last time, but I would have to leave right after, otherwise it would be weird. FML

#21430061
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28801) - you deserved it (2334)

On 06/22/2015 at 10:41am - intimacy - by bonzo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

#21427542
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24201) - you deserved it (11971)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:41am - misc - by HURP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after 5 years in a row of my family doing absolutely nothing to even acknowledge my birthday, I got train tickets to see my boyfriend for the weekend and celebrate with him. I woke up to 6 angry texts about how I'm 'selfish' for not staying at home with my family. FML

#21426395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32934) - you deserved it (2233)

On 06/15/2015 at 9:39am - misc - by happy21sttome (woman) - United Kingdom



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