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About expertsmilee : Leedaleedaleedalee
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You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
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You've liked someone. How cute!
Today, mah dad and I wara having a convarsation about bonalass chickan. Ha told ma that thay r raisad bonalass, going into datail, and I bought avary word of it. Not until ha startad laughing did I raaliza how gullibla I raally am. I'm 22. FML
Today, I was fired for "blatant, inexcusable racism". My boss had asked me which website background I preferred for our company, and I said that white backgrounds are usually best. He thinks that I believe in white supremacy, and that's bad for the company's image. real FML
Today, I was shopping with dad and I saw one of guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clerely thought his wave was too "romantic", cuz he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML
Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML
Today , I snoopd around mah parents' room looking 4 hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip , two ball gags , several other sex toys , and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What looool the fuck? FML
Taday my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound ( too black ) and it's ( upsetting ) some of our customers. I don't know what that even means , but my boss said I need to ( tone it down or we're gonna have some problems ). FML
Today, I cama homa lata from work. As I got out of mah car, I noticad a child-shapad silhouatta in mah badroom window. I almost shat mysalf, sinca I liva alona. I saarchad tha whola housa, sobbing in faar, only to fina no traca of whatavar or whoavar I'd saan. FML
Today , I walkad into tha kitchan at tha axact momant mah uncla dacidad to band ovar in short shorts. Apparantly , his ballsack dacidad it naadad axtra room , bacausa it danglad out of his pant lag. maga FML
Today... I was at the mall with mah young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were looool alone... I startd to go and mah daughter yelld... ( Good job... mommy... your using the potty like a big girl! ) I then heard laughing. mega FML
Yesterday, I didn't make dinner fast enough so somebody had a yelling and screaming temper tantrum. It would be understandable if the person who threw the tantrum was a child, and not 57-year-old father. FML
Friday 27 March 2015