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expectcriticism

2Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 670
  • Number of comments : 106
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Visits<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 11:20am<b>danimal_crackerz</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 10:00pm<b>panromantic</b> - the 10/29/2015 at 7:39am<b>Galactic_lights</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 5:40pm<b>Darkpit353</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 10:57am<b>FlutterLoud</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 2:15pm<b>14danny</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 3:54am<b>goodvsevil1275</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 10:15am<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 5:13am<b>cman232010</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:29am<b>moulchlo</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:31am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 12:26am<b>Aleura</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 9:11am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 2:47am<b>why57why</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 8:44pm<b>little_one</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 7:37pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 7:26pm<b>FML64128</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 2:07am

Fucked!<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 11:13am<b>FlutterLoud</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 7:00am

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expectcriticism's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a Facebook message from a cute guy I used to work with. He admitted to liking me and when I asked why we never hung out he admitted that my dad, his boss at the time, threatened every guy I have ever worked with. FML

#21113585
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52267) - you deserved it (4108)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:01am - love - by cricha4208 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56428) - you deserved it (5096)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad got me one of those word locks for my gym locker, for which the password had to be a four-letter word instead of numbers. My dad chose the combo for me. It was "diet". FML

#21101196
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38544) - you deserved it (5578)

On 03/31/2014 at 6:10pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML

#21101191
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42726) - you deserved it (6657)

On 03/31/2014 at 6:05pm - love - by Jaime - United States (New York)

Today, I thought it would be funny to smack my daughter's head gently with a balloon. It hit her hair clip and exploded. She won't stop crying, and my wife will be home any minute. I'm screwed. FML

#21100295
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44805) - you deserved it (19295)

On 03/30/2014 at 4:36pm - kids - by and not even in the good way (man) - United States

Today, three days before I take my bar exam, the biggest exam of my life, I got my monthly. And I get to bring my belongings in a clear plastic bag so the world knows. FML

#21092507
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45549) - you deserved it (8830)

On 03/21/2014 at 7:09am - health - by SeriouslyMakeItStop (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I came in to work early at a restaurant to help out. I stocked, baked pies for the next day, cleaned and set over 50 tables, and vacuumed the entire two stories. When I went to send an order for the first customer of mine, I realized I hadn't even clocked on. Four ½ hours of work wasted. FML

#21083869
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40707) - you deserved it (10149)

On 03/11/2014 at 9:01am - work - by IStillHaveMy8hrShiftToGo (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that my 15-year-old son is a prolific creator of My Little Pony themed hentai. I'm not a judgmental man, but he's probably going to hell. FML

#21082455
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44878) - you deserved it (8353)

On 03/09/2014 at 6:32pm - kids - by ashamed father (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML

#21082250
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55862) - you deserved it (9993)

On 03/09/2014 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by fuck russia and fuck georgia too (man) - Azerbaijan

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mess around at my workplace's parking lot. Things got hot and steamy, but in the middle of it all, there came a bang at my car window. My frantic boss had seen us and thought I was being attacked. FML

#21080766
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34691) - you deserved it (27639)

On 03/07/2014 at 7:53pm - work - by unknown - United States (Texas)

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

#21078597
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69239) - you deserved it (5433)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:33am - health - by rolypoly (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my mom came into my room, yelling at me about a pregnancy test that she found in my bathroom. My mom wouldn't believe me when I said it wasn't mine. Turns out my sister bought the test, threw it under my bathroom cabinet, and now she won't admit to the prank. She thinks this is hilarious. FML

#21078463
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45648) - you deserved it (3516)

On 03/05/2014 at 12:43am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, in revenge for being grounded for bullying a kid at school, my eight-year-old son flung a handful of Lego in my path as I walked barefoot into the kitchen. I'm still in pain. 5ML

#21038562
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44926) - you deserved it (8777)

On 01/24/2014 at 6:10pm - kids - by limping (man) - Canada

Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML



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