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excuse_remover

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excuse_remover

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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 18
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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excuse_remover's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

#20176987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21510) - you deserved it (2244)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21669) - you deserved it (3027)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML

#20167475
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9749) - you deserved it (26110)

On 11/18/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

#19846265
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26158) - you deserved it (15718)

On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I got a lecture about being lazy and not being active enough for my age, which ended with, "When I was your age, I was out every night having sex with anything that breathed." Thanks Gran. FML

#19745357
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25917) - you deserved it (3225)

On 06/06/2012 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by BrianTheLion89 - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a restaurant in front of a lot of people. Once I said yes, some guy yelled out, "SEX. SEX. SEX." My boyfriend yelled back, "LATER!" FML

#19734660
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28816) - you deserved it (6036)

On 06/04/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by BooBabe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML

#19682982
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10533) - you deserved it (40726)

On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
477 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47312) - you deserved it (4382)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40610) - you deserved it (5233)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML

#18071770
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30891) - you deserved it (6886)

On 10/25/2011 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by beccav23 - United States (Texas)



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