exceswater

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Offline (the 08/12/2016 at 2:17pm)

exceswater

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 13 February 1978 (38 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 954
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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exceswater's page activity

Visits<b>Jayroc</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 11:15am<b>anonymous0110902</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 6:13pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 2:10pm<b>vettvixen</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 10:23pm<b>brenanafish</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 5:38pm<b>keely617</b> - the 12/22/2015 at 12:18pm<b>doge750</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 1:28pm<b>kitty54321</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 2:08am<b>Rinat</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 6:46am<b>captain_crook</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 4:02pm<b>SilverZephyr</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 7:44am<b>lectricpharaoh</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 2:09am<b>Anomalymous</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 7:22pm<b>mzcupcakez</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 4:45pm<b>dauntedear5</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 1:52pm<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:50pm<b>bushytomatoe</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 3:58am<b>sunnyskys</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 11:45pm

Fucked!<b>keely617</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 2:31am

exceswater's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of exceswater's badges

exceswater's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years told me he had a surprise for me at midnight. I stayed up all night, not hearing from him. Finally I get a notification. Apparently, my midnight surprise is that I'm single. FML

by hunting7waves / 09/25/2015 at 1:31am / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML

by Kendal / 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cats found my box of condoms. This is the third one they've chewed up. The worst part? They've gotten more use out of them in the last two months than I have. FML

by lonely / 08/23/2011 at 12:49pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy

Today, someone broke into my house. They stole my TV, DVD player and a few DVDs. However they only took about 2 out of 100 DVDs. Apparently that's how bad my taste is in movies. FML

by jarrettsorko / 08/23/2011 at 12:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend got a necklace from one of her guy friends. She loves it. It's a heart shaped necklace. She doesn't see a problem. FML

by CashChamp20 / 08/17/2011 at 2:19am / United States / Love

Today, a man with a face like a corpse's shoe started talking to me in the long queue at the Post Office. Apparently, his mother invented the banana, and he's first in line for the throne in France if ever Prince Harry dies. And his breath smelled like Satan's ass gas. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 12:48am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my potbellied pig ate my neighbor's award-winning flower garden, that she has been growing for almost three years. She'd told me that she was bringing the judges of the competition, in which she was in line to win $300, to her house in two days. I have yet to tell her. FML

by otter / 08/16/2011 at 10:05pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving into work, a guy cut me off and I yelled some nasty things out of my window at him. He heard me, followed me to work, took a baseball bat out and then chased me into the office. He also smashed my windshield on his way out. FML

by erineilis / 08/16/2011 at 10:22am / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML

by worried / 08/16/2011 at 9:20am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Love

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

by ScoobieDoo / 03/20/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

by gentileman / 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love