Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ex_stripper_jk

Offline (the 01/06/2014 at 4:12am) | Search for a member

ex_stripper_jk

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1106
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ex_stripper_jk's page activity

Visits<b>Connerm</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 11:56am<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 7:44am<b>Count_Coolness</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 10:32am<b>dpxantos</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 6:24pm<b>Matthew86</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 2:28am<b>Thebassoonist</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 6:51pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 6:48pm<b>cocainewhore</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 4:00am<b>lurch87</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 1:34am<b>probs</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 9:53am<b>Viking_beard</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 8:52pm<b>Juicenub</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 2:33am<b>sodapop83</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 11:36am<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 10:55pm<b>msmama1985</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 4:29am<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 8:49am<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 5:43am<b>origamidragon</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 1:07pm

ex_stripper_jk's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of ex_stripper_jk's badges

ex_stripper_jk's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43073) - you deserved it (7342)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

#20858175
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41189) - you deserved it (3025)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by notsolucky - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

#20841635
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54846) - you deserved it (4580)

On 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm - misc - by fsfs (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

#20841455
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45001) - you deserved it (7366)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read: "My mom's a total pedo." and after she mentioned the talk, her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

#20840603
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50796) - you deserved it (5605)

On 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

#20840053
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42379) - you deserved it (3273)

On 08/16/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by hipster glasses - United States

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

#20826835
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48891) - you deserved it (4334)

On 08/08/2013 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

#20826589
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47555) - you deserved it (8748)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by AnnoyedByFriends -

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47998) - you deserved it (23088)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, the window cleaner did his rounds at my house. I sat at my mirror applying makeup and doing my hair. When he came to my window, he yelled rather loudly, "Stop putting on a show for me, you dirty slut!" FML

#20823799
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47134) - you deserved it (6114)

On 08/06/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by stillembarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

#20823279
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45798) - you deserved it (8960)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:19am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

#20820496
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68313) - you deserved it (9009)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I discovered that my wife named our kids after her former lovers. We have two sons and a daughter. FML

#20819538
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48656) - you deserved it (4864)

On 08/03/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was convinced by my friends to watch an episode of the American TV show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". They said it was bad, but I didn't anticipate having a full-blown panic attack ten minutes into it. FML

#20819060
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40776) - you deserved it (8890)

On 08/03/2013 at 5:57pm - health - by WTF, America? (man) - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay, and we decided on acting out a job interview scenario. I suggestively told her that if she wanted to get the job, she'd have to use her mouth on something else first. She called me a pig and ended the roleplay right there. FML

#20818899
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55631) - you deserved it (8309)

On 08/03/2013 at 4:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Portugal



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: