ex_stripper_jk

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Offline (the 01/06/2014 at 4:12am)

ex_stripper_jk

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1998
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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ex_stripper_jk's page activity

Visits<b>iMuffinKat</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 12:48am<b>flyingflies</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 9:41am<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 4:49pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 8:27am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 11:32pm<b>tweak2011</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 8:41pm<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 10:06am<b>WCARlover</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 12:10am<b>heroqucas</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 5:32am<b>shadow1248</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 11:55pm<b>dewshine</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 6:23pm<b>kjlancaster</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 5:11pm<b>missycanfly</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 10:35pm<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 5:22am<b>JackAtPage</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 3:52pm<b>tormcn</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:11pm<b>soccercrewluv10</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 5:45pm<b>bad_luck_blondie</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 4:23am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 4:31am<b>dewshine</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 12:24am

ex_stripper_jk's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of ex_stripper_jk's badges

ex_stripper_jk's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

by notsolucky / 08/28/2013 at 5:47pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

by fsfs / 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Miscellaneous

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

by Anonymous / 08/17/2013 at 6:52am / United States / Kids

Today, I gave my daughter the sex talk. Barely 10 minutes later, her public Facebook status read: "My mom's a total pedo." and after she mentioned the talk, her friend posted, "That's sexual harassment. You can sue for that." Clearly I've failed as a parent. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 5:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

by hipster glasses / 08/16/2013 at 7:08am / United States / Work

Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 4:03am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

by AnnoyedByFriends / 08/08/2013 at 12:43am / Miscellaneous

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

by Blood on my hands / 08/07/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Animals

Today, the window cleaner did his rounds at my house. I sat at my mirror applying makeup and doing my hair. When he came to my window, he yelled rather loudly, "Stop putting on a show for me, you dirty slut!" FML

by stillembarrassed / 08/06/2013 at 1:01pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand, when I shouted "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/06/2013 at 2:19am / United States / Health

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I discovered that my wife named our kids after her former lovers. We have two sons and a daughter. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2013 at 11:29pm / United States (Delaware) / Love

Today, I was convinced by my friends to watch an episode of the American TV show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". They said it was bad, but I didn't anticipate having a full-blown panic attack ten minutes into it. FML

by WTF, America? / 08/03/2013 at 5:57pm / Sweden / Health

Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay, and we decided on acting out a job interview scenario. I suggestively told her that if she wanted to get the job, she'd have to use her mouth on something else first. She called me a pig and ended the roleplay right there. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2013 at 4:01pm / Portugal / Intimacy