ex_omer

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Offline (the 03/24/2016 at 10:19pm)

ex_omer

2Fucked!

ex_omer
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 June 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2746
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ex_omer's page activity

Visits<b>Cdwoods</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 4:07pm<b>Ahyuenhsia</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 8:19am<b>zBerryz</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 8:05am<b>samanthaelena</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 6:03pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 7:29am<b>The_Unlucky1</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 7:11pm<b>couchcat</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 1:04pm<b>Giggidypope</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 3:06pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 6:54am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 4:53pm<b>flyingl3ap</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 10:24pm<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 8:58pm<b>steph_steph123</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 11:53am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 12:12am<b>AndyEleven</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 12:37pm<b>bwg105</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 8:16am<b>ritz24683</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 7:28am<b>maggiefox</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 5:38pm

Fucked!<b>Ahyuenhsia</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 1:19pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 1:29pm

ex_omer's FML badges

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of ex_omer's badges

ex_omer's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 7:37am / United Kingdom (Wolverhampton) / Kids

Today, my cat decided to hide in the garbage can so he could get a free trip outside, but was too fat to climb all of the way inside of it. He got stuck half-way in. It took me ten minutes to get him out. FML

by LyraAlluse / 05/18/2014 at 7:35pm / United States (Arizona) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while at a restaurant with my husband for our 4-year anniversary, he kept behaving strangely, breathing deeply and eventually sighing happily. I thought the wine had just gone to his head. Nope; he proudly admitted later that he'd jerked off without anyone noticing, even me. FML

by god / 04/29/2014 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (West Lothian) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

by honeybunny90 / 12/28/2013 at 3:23am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, after being married for 20 years, I found out that my wife has accounts on multiple dating sites, "just in case." FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2013 at 12:10am / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

by flavored / 11/18/2013 at 10:26am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML

by Champignon / 11/01/2013 at 10:17am / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Intimacy

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm / Zimbabwe / Health

Today, my girlfriend got a detention for public display of affection. We go to different schools. FML

by cmart_9 / 10/29/2013 at 12:24am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML

by soon to be divorced / 10/24/2013 at 4:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I opened up to my parents about my depression. Their response was to have a very heated discussion about whose fault it was. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2013 at 12:44am / Chile (Region Metropolitana) / Health

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

by momaaa1342 / 10/20/2013 at 11:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids