evotune

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Offline (the 06/18/2015 at 12:34pm)

evotune

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 November 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 455
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About evotune : I see the unseen. Of course i dont. Name is matt just tryin to meet new people

evotune's page activity

Visits<b>fmaae82</b> - the 03/20/2013 at 10:28pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 4:40am

evotune's FML badges

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evotune's favorite FMLs

Today, while outside, a bug flew up my nose. After I told my family and friends about a faint vibrating in my upper nostril, they all convinced me I was paranoid. That was until that night when I blew my nose and there was the bug in my tissue. Its leg was still twitching. FML

by baugy / 04/10/2012 at 10:19pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, in the spirit of Christmas, I let a spider live in my room. I normally kill them, because I'm scared of waking up with one on my face. I woke up with it on my face. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2011 at 12:03pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML

by Meg / 07/15/2011 at 6:24pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML

by sickly / 02/18/2011 at 8:06am / Work

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2009 at 3:40pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Health

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML

by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML

by zero_minded12 / 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my hair done at a fancy salon. As I was unlocking my car, a bird pooped in my hair. FML

by birdmagnet / 04/25/2009 at 3:12pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

Today, I came home a day after my birthday, and was greeted by my mother who told me "oh I have birthday present for you." She explained that she and my father went on a hike, and handed me my present. I got a F*ing stick for my birthday. FML

by Jon / 03/14/2009 at 2:30am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous