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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25388) - you deserved it (3933)
On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)
Today, I applied to live in a barn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17870) - you deserved it (6816)
On 08/23/2011 at 1:39am - money - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my house got broken into. Thankfully they didn't steal anything. They did, however, move things around into strange places and mess up my underwear. I have severe OCD, so this is probably worse than if they had taken everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20953) - you deserved it (2818)
On 08/22/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by WTFwhywouldyoudothat - United Kingdom (Rotherham)
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28878) - you deserved it (8537)
On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34284) - you deserved it (4135)
On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States
Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45950) - you deserved it (5587)
On 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm - misc - by assante2010 - United States (Maine)
Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32391) - you deserved it (2007)
On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)
Today, I saw myself on the news. I was one of the random passers by they had filmed for their story on the "Fat Epidemic." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32422) - you deserved it (17748)
On 06/19/2011 at 5:51am - health - by Username - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my sister and I both got "good luck" cards from our aunt wishing us well on our exams. My sister's said "We know you will do well". Mine said "We will love you no matter what happens". FML
I agree, your life sucks (29785) - you deserved it (3504)
On 05/14/2011 at 4:09pm - misc - by simonjudy (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29642) - you deserved it (8010)
On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33519) - you deserved it (8029)
On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50055) - you deserved it (2524) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15000) - you deserved it (44116)
On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41554) - you deserved it (13499)
On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33965) - you deserved it (9028)
On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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