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evilusername

Offline (the 09/15/2014 at 5:59am) | Search for a member

evilusername

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 43
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About evilusername : Howdy

evilusername's page activity

Visits<b>snowby2</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 2:05pm<b>darwinism</b> - the 08/27/2013 at 9:57am<b>Crash7777</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 1:27am

evilusername's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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evilusername's favorite FMLs

Today, with my name sounding vaguely like 'Turkey' and being in the phonebook for business purposes, people keep calling, offering to stuff me for Thanksgiving. FML

#20973255
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35834) - you deserved it (3140)

On 11/28/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by NotTellingYouMyName (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML

#20856532
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35099) - you deserved it (18422)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:13pm - health - by anditburnsburnsburns - United States (Virginia)

Today, at the yacht club I work at a girl ordered a Portabella wrap. She asked for no cheese or veggies, just the Portabellas. After she got the sandwich and ate half of it, she sent it back saying she didn't know it had mushrooms in it. FML

#20840141
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43219) - you deserved it (2937)

On 08/16/2013 at 10:05am - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, was my wedding day. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding and everything was going perfectly as planned. That is, until a bird flew over us and left a present right between my boobs. I had to stand at the altar for 30 minutes as bird poop melted in my cleavage. FML

#20837089
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55156) - you deserved it (5025)

On 08/14/2013 at 1:39pm - misc - by NewBride (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while working out in the gym, I spotted a very attractive girl. I decided to pick up the heaviest dumbbell to show off how much I could curl. She ended up driving me to the hospital because I burst into tears after tearing up my bicep and deltoid. FML

#20831608
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23239) - you deserved it (60588)

On 08/11/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

#20823903
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57604) - you deserved it (4391)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm - kids - by benjo - United States

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

#20818422
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60739) - you deserved it (5966)

On 08/03/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by zackeryburch - United States (California)

Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML

#20814602
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54026) - you deserved it (4465)

On 08/01/2013 at 1:10am - intimacy - by confused_girl (woman) - United States (Iowa)



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