Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

evilamoebaattack

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

evilamoebaattack

1Liked!

evilamoebaattack
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1022
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About evilamoebaattack : their arcane trek.

evilamoebaattack's page activity

Visits<b>ricardof</b> - 12 hours ago<b>Wizardo</b> - yesterday at 1:05am<b>niftyismybitch</b> - yesterday at 8:11am<b>medic8</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 2:31pm<b>sisco2901</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 5:43pm<b>ostfaiz</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 2:15pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 12:04pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 8:38am<b>1nfinitee</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 7:57am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 7:08am<b>homesuckfucker</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 8:24pm<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 3:29pm<b>keiNan</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 3:29am<b>sajupt</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 1:31pm<b>NSKFML</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 4:23pm<b>AviatOfficial</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 7:43am<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 7:54pm<b>Lacalema</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 3:40am

Liked!<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 1:38pm

evilamoebaattack's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of evilamoebaattack's badges

evilamoebaattack's favorite FMLs

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

#19066178
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20645) - you deserved it (4154)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm - kids - by Username - India

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML

#18781684
530 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30086) - you deserved it (53479)

On 01/12/2012 at 12:36am - love - by Nate (man) - United States

Today, while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML

#18459479
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23548) - you deserved it (2306)

On 12/08/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by skidmark (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

#18370889
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38043) - you deserved it (9346)

On 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML

#18049088
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30065) - you deserved it (3125)

On 10/22/2011 at 9:02pm - misc - by pretty_coin - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML

#18025150
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24688) - you deserved it (2878)

On 10/19/2011 at 6:29pm - misc - by Missy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while on the bus, I found out the seat I'd taken was the preferred spot of a very hostile and extremely overweight freshman. Instead of letting me find different place to sit, she half sat on me, and completely ignored my attempts to dislodge myself all the way to school. FML

#17871365
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25332) - you deserved it (2544)

On 09/30/2011 at 2:15pm - misc - by hihaay - United States

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29528) - you deserved it (8248)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29528) - you deserved it (8248)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
430 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73698) - you deserved it (7683)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my neighbor of twelve years at the grocery store. Being friendly, I went over to say hello. After I did, she responded by saying that she didn't know me but I look familiar. Finally, she remembered why I'm familiar saying that I look like the dorky guy from Two and a Half Men. FML

#16294249
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27574) - you deserved it (3320)

On 05/22/2011 at 8:18am - misc - by Greig - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML

#16292303
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41318) - you deserved it (4001)

On 05/22/2011 at 2:30am - health - by ninalian - United States (Puerto Rico)

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

#16287224
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41868) - you deserved it (5611)

On 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by squirrels69ing (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after three unsuccessful months of trying to make me orgasm, my boyfriend finally succeeded. It came from his car bumping up and down while we drove down a pot-holed road. FML

#16283076
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38075) - you deserved it (5590)

On 05/21/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by hahanosirr (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59239) - you deserved it (10102)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: