evilamoebaattack

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Offline (the 07/10/2016 at 1:08pm)

evilamoebaattack

13Fucked!

evilamoebaattack
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3414
  • Number of comments : 92
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About evilamoebaattack : gah.

evilamoebaattack's page activity

Visits<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 11:03am<b>tweak2011</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 3:56am<b>Srxjo</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 3:12am<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 11:34pm<b>TheNight</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 10:26pm<b>jill97</b> - the 02/23/2016 at 10:48pm<b>niftyismybitch</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 6:53am<b>Fertil14</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 9:25pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 11:26pm<b>lunar999</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:08am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 4:05pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 7:31pm<b>ArchxAngel</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 8:02pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 4:33am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 12:22am<b>a3gab</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 7:31am<b>bigmusclebro</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 7:45pm<b>sheeshadevil</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 1:49am

Fucked!<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 4:46am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 1:31am<b>ArchxAngel</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 2:02am<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 10:33am<b>keiNan</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 8:06pm<b>Steve95401</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 1:12pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 4:22am<b>Cozy_Blanket</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:33pm<b>saraitkddh</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 10:48pm<b>Dick_diamond</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 3:16am<b>Chelserser</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 8:04am<b>lukian</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 10:21pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 1:38pm

evilamoebaattack's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of evilamoebaattack's badges

evilamoebaattack's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that the amount of alcohol I have to drink to build up enough courage to talk to women at a bar is the exact amount of alcohol that prevents me from getting a boner. FML

by socially awkward / 03/10/2012 at 1:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I installed an alarm app on my phone. Turns out, to unlock the phone and get the ringing to stop, I have to answer a maths question. It took me ten minutes to get it right. FML

by Ashleigh / 03/02/2012 at 5:53pm / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

by Anonymoosey / 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I realized that with all the money I've spent on repairs for my iPhone through the months, I could have bought a phone that doesn't die horribly whenever I so much as give it a mean look. FML

by anonymous / 02/18/2012 at 5:07pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

by Username / 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm / India / Kids

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML

by Nate / 01/12/2012 at 12:36am / United States / Love

Today, while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML

by skidmark / 12/08/2011 at 9:48am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML

by pretty_coin / 10/22/2011 at 9:02pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML

by Missy / 10/19/2011 at 6:29pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, while on the bus, I found out the seat I'd taken was the preferred spot of a very hostile and extremely overweight freshman. Instead of letting me find different place to sit, she half sat on me, and completely ignored my attempts to dislodge myself all the way to school. FML

by hihaay / 09/30/2011 at 2:15pm / United States / Transportation

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 1:02am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my neighbor of twelve years at the grocery store. Being friendly, I went over to say hello. After I did, she responded by saying that she didn't know me but I look familiar. Finally, she remembered why I'm familiar saying that I look like the dorky guy from Two and a Half Men. FML

by Greig / 05/22/2011 at 8:18am / United States (Ohio) / Kids