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evilamoebaattack

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evilamoebaattack
  • Town/Country : Ahmedabad, india
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 2 August 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 542
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About evilamoebaattack : their arcane trek.

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evilamoebaattack's favorite FMLs

Today, I installed an alarm app on my phone. Turns out, to unlock the phone and get the ringing to stop, I have to answer a maths question. It took me ten minutes to get it right. FML

#19203971
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9833) - you deserved it (27076)

On 03/02/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by Ashleigh - Australia

Today, I found out that my favorite song since I was a small child is actually about anal sex and delaying an orgasm. FML

#19117009
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23899) - you deserved it (4003)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymoosey - Canada

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

#19066178
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19096) - you deserved it (3955)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm - kids - by Username - India

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML

#18781684
524 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28898) - you deserved it (52010)

On 01/12/2012 at 12:36am - love - by Nate (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

#18370889
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36068) - you deserved it (9018)

On 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML

#18049088
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28602) - you deserved it (2998)

On 10/22/2011 at 9:02pm - misc - by pretty_coin - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while on the bus, I found out the seat I'd taken was the preferred spot of a very hostile and extremely overweight freshman. Instead of letting me find different place to sit, she half sat on me, and completely ignored my attempts to dislodge myself all the way to school. FML

#17871365
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21938) - you deserved it (2254)

On 09/30/2011 at 2:15pm - misc - by hihaay - United States

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24037) - you deserved it (6478)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24037) - you deserved it (6478)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66662) - you deserved it (6941)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my neighbor of twelve years at the grocery store. Being friendly, I went over to say hello. After I did, she responded by saying that she didn't know me but I look familiar. Finally, she remembered why I'm familiar saying that I look like the dorky guy from Two and a Half Men. FML

#16294249
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25677) - you deserved it (3147)

On 05/22/2011 at 8:18am - misc - by Greig - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was talking to this boy I really like and we were laughing together, until I got this disgusting putrid smell. I started to say how awful the smell was and he stopped laughing to take a sniff too. As soon as he closed his mouth the smell was gone. FML

#16292303
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37933) - you deserved it (3713)

On 05/22/2011 at 2:30am - health - by ninalian - United States (Puerto Rico)

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

#16287224
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40602) - you deserved it (5484)

On 05/21/2011 at 9:00pm - intimacy - by squirrels69ing (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, after three unsuccessful months of trying to make me orgasm, my boyfriend finally succeeded. It came from his car bumping up and down while we drove down a pot-holed road. FML

#16283076
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31909) - you deserved it (4209)

On 05/21/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by hahanosirr (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52247) - you deserved it (7878)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)



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