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About eviiee : " I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
"And i know if i end this ill no longer have nothing left, But you keep treating me like a staircase its time to fucking step .. & i wont be coming back so dont hold your fucking breath ! "
eminem
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50310) - you deserved it (9601)
On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out I was born as a result of someone switching my mom's birth control pills with tic tac. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36736) - you deserved it (2783)
Today, my boyfriend finally found a roommate after hopelessly looking for months. I was really anxious to meet the guy because I would most likely be spending a good amount of time with him. Who did my boyfriend end up picking as his new roommate? My ex-boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32945) - you deserved it (3095)
On 04/22/2011 at 10:40am - misc - by doubletrouble (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. He then told me that he will love me forever, wait for me and will follow me to the ends of the earth. Apparently, that means standing outside my door and calling my house phone every five minutes. It's been 3 hours straight now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24223) - you deserved it (6436)
On 12/09/2010 at 1:00am - love - by Anonymous -
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How is the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8330) - you deserved it (79004)
On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)
Today, my husband fell asleep for two hours at a dinner party. We were the hosts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18800) - you deserved it (3729)
On 07/19/2010 at 4:34am - misc - by wideawake (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I tell him I just got my period, he impatiently says "Is it over yet?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (30533) - you deserved it (4246)
On 07/19/2010 at 2:38am - intimacy - by MandMandM (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16792) - you deserved it (4117)
On 03/04/2010 at 10:48am - intimacy - by lalararara - United States
Today, I was walking out of class when I saw a girl enthusiastically run to her boyfriend, jump on him, and smother him with kisses. I thought to myself "I wish my girlfriend did that." When the girl jumped off and turned around I realized she did, just not to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42547) - you deserved it (1698)
On 10/06/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by zitroskies (man) - United States (California)
Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (377551) - you deserved it (54169)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by gentileman (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (414373) - you deserved it (248647)
On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (234052) - you deserved it (16154)
On 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm - love - by loser (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (753767) - you deserved it (63735)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (569215) - you deserved it (51273)
On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)
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