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evan_7899

Offline (the 01/13/2014 at 3:07am) | Search for a member

evan_7899

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 April 1979 (35 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2441
  • Number of comments : 197
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 29 posted

About evan_7899 : I Im from Toronto Canada and Italian Background

evan_7899's page activity

Visits<b>Ka5hif</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:53am<b>imbetterthanyoo</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 2:02pm<b>abattior</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:35am<b>AnimeRules1125</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 1:11am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 3:42am<b>Destro109</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 12:21am<b>LadyQuantum7</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 4:41pm<b>pinkgal2129</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 6:20pm<b>gavocado</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 10:38pm<b>CallMeCake</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 6:08am<b>Xquisite1</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 7:47am<b>sugar94</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 5:12pm<b>titandesu</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 11:03pm<b>TehAnderz</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 8:07pm<b>MissyPants</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 4:10am<b>MissStephanie</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 3:27am<b>fillintheblanks</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 7:38pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 5:50pm

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I like things a lot, 20 times in fact

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evan_7899's favorite FMLs

Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years old. FML

#20848790
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52998) - you deserved it (3307)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:48am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

#20847973
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50445) - you deserved it (6795)

On 08/21/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by mykhael (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my elderly neighbour was having some kind of house party. It was incredibly loud, so I went and asked if he could tone it down a little. He responded by grabbing a deck chair, smacking me with it, then chasing me back to my house, all while his guests cheered him on. FML

#20840549
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42122) - you deserved it (7047)

On 08/16/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

#20838395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52159) - you deserved it (3740)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

#20826589
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47555) - you deserved it (8748)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by AnnoyedByFriends -

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48001) - you deserved it (23087)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. I was screaming and writhing in pain, and my eyes were shut for most of the ride to the hospital. We stopped, and I was thrilled because I thought we were at the ER. I was wrong. My dad had stopped to order a cheeseburger. FML

#20823062
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55450) - you deserved it (4320)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:11am - health - by mcdonalds - United States

Today, my mom's dog saw a cat in our yard. I watched as he tried to jump at it, only to smack face-first into the window. He did this twice more before curling up on the floor and whimpering pitifully. When my mom came in and saw him there, and me laughing, she accused me of beating him. FML

#20822442
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44640) - you deserved it (6690)

On 08/05/2013 at 5:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, my husband and I arrived in Barbados on vacation. We visited a club, and they had a selection of drinks with weird names. My husband ordered one called the Raging Bitch, flicked his finger towards me, and said to the barkeeper, "Might as well get something I'm used to." FML

#20820272
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44421) - you deserved it (10218)

On 08/04/2013 at 12:45pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, my husband bought me a big box of tampons. He claims to know when my period is about to start before I do. Sadly, he's right. FML

#20812881
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47374) - you deserved it (7988)

On 07/31/2013 at 2:31am - love - by RayneWolf13 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

#20810087
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51356) - you deserved it (11690)

On 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

#20808604
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60281) - you deserved it (8964)

On 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56203) - you deserved it (9321)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, the doctor told my husband that he is infertile due to slow sperm. As if this is not upsetting enough, my husband blames it on me. According to him, his sperm doesn't get 'aroused' because I'm not sexy enough. FML

#20800901
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61853) - you deserved it (5384)

On 07/24/2013 at 7:50am - intimacy - by Iamdisappointed (woman) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

#20799228
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60032) - you deserved it (7818)

On 07/23/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by GiantsFan13 - United States (Colorado)



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