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evan_7899

Offline (the 01/13/2014 at 3:07am) | Search for a member

evan_7899

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 April 1979 (35 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2484
  • Number of comments : 197
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 29 posted

About evan_7899 : I Im from Toronto Canada and Italian Background

evan_7899's page activity

Visits<b>EmoKami</b> - yesterday at 4:08pm<b>Ka5hif</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 11:53am<b>imbetterthanyoo</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 2:02pm<b>abattior</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:35am<b>AnimeRules1125</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 1:11am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 3:42am<b>Destro109</b> - the 05/08/2014 at 12:21am<b>LadyQuantum7</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 4:41pm<b>pinkgal2129</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 6:20pm<b>gavocado</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 10:38pm<b>CallMeCake</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 6:08am<b>Xquisite1</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 7:47am<b>sugar94</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 5:12pm<b>titandesu</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 11:03pm<b>TehAnderz</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 8:07pm<b>MissyPants</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 4:10am<b>MissStephanie</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 3:27am<b>fillintheblanks</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 7:38pm

evan_7899's FML badges

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You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I like things a lot, 20 times in fact

You have liked 20 FMLs and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs that you have liked. We like that.

See all of evan_7899's badges

evan_7899's favorite FMLs

Today, after getting back from my interior design class, I told my husband that I learned the golden rule for home decor: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." He looked at me dead in the eyes, and didn't say a word. FML

#21068258
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36172) - you deserved it (6280)

On 02/22/2014 at 6:01am - misc - by housedoctor (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

#21045407
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41560) - you deserved it (4529)

On 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48902) - you deserved it (4871)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mom got pissed off at my doctor and called him a quack. She did this because he reassured her that I don't show any signs of the mental retardation that she's convinced herself I must have. FML

#20993646
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44424) - you deserved it (2916)

On 12/15/2013 at 4:48pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Croatia (Licko-Senjska)

Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML

#20985559
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48510) - you deserved it (4575)

On 12/08/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by mistletoe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

#20985190
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46611) - you deserved it (5135)

On 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she loves the most about me. She said it's the fact that I look like her cousin. FML

#20984907
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45171) - you deserved it (3702)

On 12/08/2013 at 11:49am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my grandkids went around my house claiming items to inherit. FML

#20984796
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49316) - you deserved it (3682)

On 12/08/2013 at 8:19am - kids - by blah! - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I called the police to report that my car had been keyed. I remember going to a bar last night and getting drunk. A surveillance camera revealed that after my drunken self couldn't unlock the door to my car, I punched the door and hurt my fist so bad that I keyed my own car. FML

#20977883
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18658) - you deserved it (49088)

On 12/02/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by car keyer (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31050) - you deserved it (14733)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

#20969751
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55154) - you deserved it (5820)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:22am - intimacy - by LadyLola (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to have a talk with my stalker. After telling him not to snapchat me, not to text me, and that I'm not interested, all he said was "I think persistence is going to be key here." FML

#20967638
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41847) - you deserved it (3327)

On 11/23/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by AshleyRose24 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

#20963297
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48268) - you deserved it (8043)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by you+me-clothes=53>< (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank: "less often." FML

#20961005
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47432) - you deserved it (4112)

On 11/17/2013 at 3:27pm - kids - by :( (woman) - United States (Texas)



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