etishuman22

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etishuman22

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4676
  • Number of comments : 320
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About etishuman22 : I'm a budding accountant, and before you say, "That's boring", let me tell you that I actually enjoy what I do! Although my profession is boring, my own self is not boring whatsoever. I sing and play guitar (self-taught, represent!), I love watching BBC shows (Dr. Who and Sherlock, FTFW!), and cooking and eating of da foodz. Mostly eating. I'm super good at guessing ages! I have no pets currently as I lost my doggy Reagan last year to old age and stomach cancer. Sometimes I think I see him around still, so I hold the belief he's not done being a part of our family yet. You looking to chat and make an internet buddy? I'm down. I gots a few penpals from different social media websites.

etishuman22's page activity

Visits<b>JamesMago</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 12:25pm<b>majoroftheair</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 11:51pm<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 5:04pm<b>FifaSkiller</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 8:45am<b>arsh_fz</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 12:25pm<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 6:13pm<b>_aPerson_</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 10:56pm<b>tyler530</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 6:19pm<b>damwoods</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 12:44am<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 8:06pm<b>HitlerLovingFag</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 3:59am<b>Fernando83</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 11:47pm<b>articwolf2</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 6:48pm<b>jake9234</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 10:01am<b>tomdrc12</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 1:42pm<b>Burberryhype</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 7:45am<b>convive</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 10:36pm<b>websphere69</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 1:07pm

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:23am<b>Druu</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 6:16am<b>hantu69</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 2:05am<b>rafa015</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 4:05am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 11:32pm

etishuman22's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of etishuman22's badges

etishuman22's favorite FMLs

Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over my ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML

by nraecher / 03/23/2013 at 12:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my grandson visited me, and asked if I had any pictures of myself from when I was a little girl. I happily looked for a few photos to give him, asking what had piqued his curiosity. He replied that he wanted some for a presentation he's doing on the Middle Ages. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 9:19pm / France (Lorraine) / Miscellaneous

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, on Facebook, I mentioned that I'd just finished reading the novel Pet Sematary. Two hours later, I'd lost two friends and my boyfriend, after they commented "learn to spell, dumbass", "u illiterate fucker", and "well, I'm not dating you for your brains, am I?" I hate humanity. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 8:02pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 7:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 7:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my 2-year-old daughter and my 27-year-old husband both woke me up in the early hours of the morning. Their complaints were the same: they'd both wet the bed. FML

by sickness and health my sphincter / 03/22/2013 at 5:53pm / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 3:15pm / Italy (Calabria) / Health

Today, I had to endure a long face-to-face conversation with a coworker who had fierce BO. He had his fingers interlaced around the back of his head the whole time. FML

by stankness / 03/22/2013 at 11:01am / United States / Work

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

by Drewbie / 01/13/2013 at 3:53am / United States (Utah) / Intimacy

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

by DarkDisaster / 12/27/2012 at 5:16am / United States / Animals

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

by geewhy / 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML

by Kasey Eames / 12/23/2012 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous