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etishuman22

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etishuman22
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1733
  • Number of comments : 320
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About etishuman22 : I'm a budding accountant, and before you say, "That's boring", let me tell you that I actually enjoy what I do! Although my profession is boring, my own self is not boring whatsoever. I sing and play guitar (self-taught, represent!), I love watching BBC shows (Dr. Who and Sherlock, FTFW!), and cooking and eating of da foodz. Mostly eating. I'm super good at guessing ages! I have no pets currently as I lost my doggy Reagan last year to old age and stomach cancer. Sometimes I think I see him around still, so I hold the belief he's not done being a part of our family yet. You looking to chat and make an internet buddy? I'm down. I gots a few penpals from different social media websites.

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etishuman22's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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etishuman22's favorite FMLs

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML

#20559530
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36800) - you deserved it (3951)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States

Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML

#20559522
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9308) - you deserved it (58908)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:31pm - health - by anon - United States

Today, my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it, it had a virus on it, and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML

#20559514
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32859) - you deserved it (5172)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by grossed out - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I was at a goodbye dinner with friends before I move back to America. A friend called to cry over relationship problems she refuses to fix. While I was outside trying to politely get off the phone, my friends ate and drank everything I'd ordered and closed the bill. FML

#20559208
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28699) - you deserved it (5257)

On 03/25/2013 at 9:13am - misc - by sorryyouweregone - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31973) - you deserved it (4329)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was late to a lecture when I tripped up the stairs. With a few hundred people already staring and laughing at me, I started to curtsy to my "adoring fans" but instead fell backwards down the massive flight of stairs. FML

#20559000
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31457) - you deserved it (10578)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML

#20558472
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30970) - you deserved it (8315)

On 03/24/2013 at 7:47pm - love - by fuckyoutoo (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a few months after my co-worker had stopped wearing her engagement ring, I decided to put on the moves and start flirting with her. I soon found out that her fiancé had died, and that she's nowhere near over him, despite her brave face. I feel like a total asshole. FML

#20558292
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42171) - you deserved it (21809)

On 03/24/2013 at 5:33pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I gave my son a fork, so I could try teaching him how to eat with one. So far, he's been doing all the teaching. He's taught me that if I get anywhere near him when he has a fork, I'll get shanked. FML

Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML

#20557646
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25997) - you deserved it (9557)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I finally came out to my family as a lesbian. My grandma then told me I'm just going through a phase because I finally realized I'm not pretty or skinny enough to get a man. FML

#20557644
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35307) - you deserved it (6003)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:20am - misc - by theawesome129 - Canada

Today, I found out that my picture from a dating profile was so "hilarious" that people have been posting it on Instagram with mean captions. FML

#20557606
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35563) - you deserved it (5289)

On 03/24/2013 at 4:59am - misc - by And I'm still single - United States (California)

Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML

#20556944
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36016) - you deserved it (4546)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after I had changed my number to get away from my abusive ex, my mom decided to give him my new one. She insists that I need to give him another chance. FML

#20556707
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44964) - you deserved it (2133)

On 03/23/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

#20556322
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47874) - you deserved it (5868)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)



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