etishuman22

Search for a member

etishuman22

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4372
  • Number of comments : 320
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About etishuman22 : I'm a budding accountant, and before you say, "That's boring", let me tell you that I actually enjoy what I do! Although my profession is boring, my own self is not boring whatsoever. I sing and play guitar (self-taught, represent!), I love watching BBC shows (Dr. Who and Sherlock, FTFW!), and cooking and eating of da foodz. Mostly eating. I'm super good at guessing ages! I have no pets currently as I lost my doggy Reagan last year to old age and stomach cancer. Sometimes I think I see him around still, so I hold the belief he's not done being a part of our family yet. You looking to chat and make an internet buddy? I'm down. I gots a few penpals from different social media websites.

etishuman22's page activity

Visits<b>damwoods</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 12:44am<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 8:06pm<b>HitlerLovingFag</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 3:59am<b>Fernando83</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 11:47pm<b>articwolf2</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 6:48pm<b>jake9234</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 10:01am<b>tomdrc12</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 1:42pm<b>Burberryhype</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 7:45am<b>convive</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 10:36pm<b>websphere69</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 1:07pm<b>trashyant</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 4:08am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 5:26am<b>LuxTheSarcastic</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 10:30am<b>jill97</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 12:59am<b>Throggdor</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 2:17pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 7:07am<b>Mean_Oreo2436</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 8:14am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 11:29pm

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:23am<b>Druu</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 6:16am<b>hantu69</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 2:05am<b>rafa015</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 4:05am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 10:37am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 11:32pm

etishuman22's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of etishuman22's badges

etishuman22's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband bought me a big box of tampons. He claims to know when my period is about to start before I do. Sadly, he's right. FML

by RayneWolf13 / 07/31/2013 at 2:31am / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML

by kiwichick4life / 07/30/2013 at 12:42pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a piano lesson playing a song I had worked very hard to make perfect. Halfway through, my teacher abruptly stops me and asks, "Did you notice that I rearranged the furniture?" FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 2:52am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy on the bus was nice enough to slide over so I could sit down. Right after, he said, "Fair warning though, I just farted there." FML

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML

by mishyb / 07/28/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 11:45am / United States (Delaware) / Work

Today, my grandmother, who has Alzheimer's, cornered me in the kitchen and called the cops. My crime? Robbery, of my own house. FML

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm / United States / Holidays

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

by Thanks Honey / 06/05/2013 at 11:08am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 11:34am / United States / Intimacy