About etishuman22 : I'm a budding accountant, and before you say, "That's boring", let me tell you that I actually enjoy what I do! Although my profession is boring, my own self is not boring whatsoever. I sing and play guitar (self-taught, represent!), I love watching BBC shows (Dr. Who and Sherlock, FTFW!), and cooking and eating of da foodz. Mostly eating. I'm super good at guessing ages! I have no pets currently as I lost my doggy Reagan last year to old age and stomach cancer. Sometimes I think I see him around still, so I hold the belief he's not done being a part of our family yet. You looking to chat and make an internet buddy? I'm down. I gots a few penpals from different social media websites.
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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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etishuman22's favorite FMLs
by RayneWolf13 / 07/31/2013 at 2:31am / United States (Arkansas) / Love
Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML
by kiwichick4life / 07/30/2013 at 12:42pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 2:52am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Wakachulak / 07/30/2013 at 1:55am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Transportation
by mishyb / 07/28/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Colorado) / Animals
Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML
by Anonymous / 07/20/2013 at 11:45am / United States (Delaware) / Work
by ScenicSubterfuge / 07/16/2013 at 12:01pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm / United States / Holidays
by hinting / 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Thanks Honey / 06/05/2013 at 11:08am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML
by Cristoforo / 05/25/2013 at 4:19am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2013 at 11:34am / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…