Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

etishuman22

Search for a member

etishuman22

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3187
  • Number of comments : 320
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About etishuman22 : I'm a budding accountant, and before you say, "That's boring", let me tell you that I actually enjoy what I do! Although my profession is boring, my own self is not boring whatsoever. I sing and play guitar (self-taught, represent!), I love watching BBC shows (Dr. Who and Sherlock, FTFW!), and cooking and eating of da foodz. Mostly eating. I'm super good at guessing ages! I have no pets currently as I lost my doggy Reagan last year to old age and stomach cancer. Sometimes I think I see him around still, so I hold the belief he's not done being a part of our family yet. You looking to chat and make an internet buddy? I'm down. I gots a few penpals from different social media websites.

etishuman22's page activity

Visits<b>CinematicKid</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 11:14am<b>c_wyld</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 3:52am<b>Pharoian_Viking</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 7:23am<b>lola4455</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 8:03pm<b>youngindian</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 6:29pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 8:52am<b>moiqbal</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:18pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 10:48am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 11:30pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 6:03pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 11:05pm<b>HuntersCreed</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 10:30pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 10:39pm<b>willwillman11</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 3:40pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 2:42pm<b>Damafia</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 8:11am<b>ns1985</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 1:39pm<b>SWEGGYGINGER</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 11:33am

Liked!<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 10:55pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 10:37am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 11:32pm

etishuman22's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of etishuman22's badges

etishuman22's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband bought me a big box of tampons. He claims to know when my period is about to start before I do. Sadly, he's right. FML

#20812881
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47454) - you deserved it (8001)

On 07/31/2013 at 2:31am - love - by RayneWolf13 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML

#20811460
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40040) - you deserved it (13199)

On 07/30/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by kiwichick4life (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at a piano lesson playing a song I had worked very hard to make perfect. Halfway through, my teacher abruptly stops me and asks, "Did you notice that I rearranged the furniture?" FML

#20811045
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43136) - you deserved it (3473)

On 07/30/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a guy on the bus was nice enough to slide over so I could sit down. Right after, he said, "Fair warning though, I just farted there." FML

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML

#20807336
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47666) - you deserved it (3987)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:28am - animals - by mishyb (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54898) - you deserved it (6349)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my grandmother, who has Alzheimer's, cornered me in the kitchen and called the cops. My crime? Robbery, of my own house. FML

#20786208
64 comments

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49345) - you deserved it (6469)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69196) - you deserved it (3970)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

#20707362
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51123) - you deserved it (4700)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States

Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60621) - you deserved it (9154)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50393) - you deserved it (8163)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59956) - you deserved it (10770)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: