etishuman22

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etishuman22

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4370
  • Number of comments : 320
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About etishuman22 : I'm a budding accountant, and before you say, "That's boring", let me tell you that I actually enjoy what I do! Although my profession is boring, my own self is not boring whatsoever. I sing and play guitar (self-taught, represent!), I love watching BBC shows (Dr. Who and Sherlock, FTFW!), and cooking and eating of da foodz. Mostly eating. I'm super good at guessing ages! I have no pets currently as I lost my doggy Reagan last year to old age and stomach cancer. Sometimes I think I see him around still, so I hold the belief he's not done being a part of our family yet. You looking to chat and make an internet buddy? I'm down. I gots a few penpals from different social media websites.

etishuman22's page activity

Visits<b>damwoods</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 12:44am<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 03/07/2016 at 8:06pm<b>HitlerLovingFag</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 3:59am<b>Fernando83</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 11:47pm<b>articwolf2</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 6:48pm<b>jake9234</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 10:01am<b>tomdrc12</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 1:42pm<b>Burberryhype</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 7:45am<b>convive</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 10:36pm<b>websphere69</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 1:07pm<b>trashyant</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 4:08am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 5:26am<b>LuxTheSarcastic</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 10:30am<b>jill97</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 12:59am<b>Throggdor</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 2:17pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 7:07am<b>Mean_Oreo2436</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 8:14am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 11:29pm

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:23am<b>Druu</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 6:16am<b>hantu69</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 2:05am<b>rafa015</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 4:05am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 10:37am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 11:32pm

etishuman22's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of etishuman22's badges

etishuman22's favorite FMLs

Today, I won a year's supply of bath bombs in a competition. I live in a tiny flat by myself with only a shower. I also have to find somewhere to put the bath bombs. FML

by KnowWhereYourTowelIs / 08/14/2013 at 3:13am / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML

by hairless by death / 08/13/2013 at 12:07pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my 7-year-old son proudly announced that he had laid an egg during the night. I checked. He'd simply shat the bed. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2013 at 4:49am / Kids

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML

by SparkOfJade / 08/13/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Maryland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML

by rachel / 08/10/2013 at 4:56pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Kids

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

by Oh-Shit! / 08/10/2013 at 11:23am / United States / Health

Today, I found the carcass of the frog that got into my house last week. It was a horrifying sight, but not nearly as horrifying as the fact that I found it in my refrigerator. No, I don't know how it got in there either. FML

by W...T...F / 08/09/2013 at 12:15pm / United States / Animals

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2013 at 7:10am / Latvia (Jelgavas) / Health

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

by benjo / 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm / United States / Kids

Today, the window cleaner did his rounds at my house. I sat at my mirror applying makeup and doing my hair. When he came to my window, he yelled rather loudly, "Stop putting on a show for me, you dirty slut!" FML

by stillembarrassed / 08/06/2013 at 1:01pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

by Serum / 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

by Anon / 08/04/2013 at 1:36am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 1:29am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I was at Basic Training for the Army when I got a package in the mail from my friends back home. You are required to open your packages in front of your drill sergeants and peers at Basic. When I opened it, it was a dildo. FML

by zackeryburch / 08/03/2013 at 9:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm / Belgium (West-Vlaanderen) / Intimacy