About ethan_unoxx : I love Saturday Night Live. A lot.
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ethan_unoxx's favorite FMLs
by wantedphantom / 07/08/2016 at 10:26pm / Miscellaneous
by quackers / 07/08/2016 at 3:00am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by NotFromAustralia / 07/08/2016 at 1:25am / United States (Colorado) / Animals
by GatorBoi / 07/04/2016 at 1:59pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by Mnm54312 / 07/04/2016 at 3:19am / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, after being constipated a few days, I used the restroom at a bar. It took a loooong time before I got out. As I went to exit the bar, only the employees were still there, waiting for me because they had closed 30 minutes ago. FML
by RosaMaravillosa / 06/27/2016 at 2:09pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous
by lunarclips / 06/27/2016 at 10:08am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
Today, my workplace often leaves out "expired" food from the café that our department coincides with, as it is wasteful to throw away perfectly fine cuisine. I soon discovered that the inside of a seemingly normal looking cupcake was actually filled with mold when I took a large mouthful of it. FML
by XxmegaronixX / 06/25/2016 at 12:55am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/18/2016 at 10:09am / United States (California) / Work
Today, at the doctor's, I dropped my pants and the attractive nurse assured me it was the biggest one she had ever seen. Unfortunately, she wasn't referring to my penis, she was, in fact referring to the huge haemorrhoid hanging out of my asshole. FML
by mind your own business / 06/13/2016 at 6:31pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Health
Today, I went to my father's house to get my dog, since I had left it with him while I was on a business trip. When I got there, my dad said the dog pooped on the floor a few days ago, and so he took him to the pound. FML
by Anonymous / 06/10/2016 at 5:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals
by djurmel89 / 06/07/2016 at 12:48pm / Germany / Health
Today, my husband returned from being away for two weeks. I eagerly got myself ready and sent him a risqué picture so he would come to bed. An hour later, he's on the couch playing Xbox with the message already seen. FML
by ChopSuey / 06/01/2016 at 12:02am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
Today, my dog apparently vomited straight down a heating vent while I was out. The stench was so bad that when I got home and the smell hit me, I threw up too. Looks like I'll be spending a few days with my mother as the house airs out. FML
by Anonymous / 05/14/2016 at 10:26am / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Animals
Today, I ran into a new guy at work who told me the regional manager was visiting today to evaluate the staff. I scoffed and said that everything I'd heard about the manager made him seem like a total prick. His reply? "Maybe, but I'm a prick who can FIRE people." FML
by Anonymous / 04/20/2016 at 6:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
- Today, my best friend thought the best time to tell me she was sleeping with my boyfriend was while… Today, the guy I've been seeing bought me a nice bottle of wine and cooked dinner for me. Later, we… Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and…