About ethan_unoxx : I love Saturday Night Live. A lot.
ethan_unoxx's FML badges
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
ethan_unoxx's favorite FMLs
Today, I ran into a new guy at work who told me the regional manager was visiting today to evaluate the staff. I scoffed and said that everything I'd heard about the manager made him seem like a total prick. His reply? "Maybe, but I'm a prick who can FIRE people." FML
by Anonymous / 04/20/2016 at 6:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
Today, while walking down the street I thought it would be funny to moon a crowd of old people taking a photo, in a few seconds a couple of them started pointing in my direction... Turns out they were pointing at the car that ran me over shortly after. FML
by MasterMcrib / 04/17/2016 at 4:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by numb fingers / 04/15/2016 at 1:54am / United States (California) / Love
by Hairy Cheek / 04/15/2016 at 12:27am / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML
by Anonymous / 04/14/2016 at 1:13am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 03/25/2016 at 3:07pm / United States (California) / Money
Today, while driving around with my brother and his idiotic friends, one of them decided it would be a brilliant idea to throw a hot sauce packet out of the car window at a moving vehicle. I've never seen someone angry enough to stop and get out of a vehicle that fast. FML
by kimeatszombies / 02/10/2016 at 5:42am / United States (California) / Transportation
by areyoukiddingme / 10/01/2015 at 1:56am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I was with my girlfriend at lunch when a group of guys came over. They started calling her a whore and a bunch of other shit, so I cussed them out. Turns out she was not only cheating on me, but all the other guys too. FML
by Jgfenix / 09/21/2015 at 8:24pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
Today, I'm on vacation in Japan with my brother. When he said he could speak Japanese, I guess what he really meant that he's a dumbass weeaboo who only knows the words "kawaii", "baka", "sugoi" and a few others. He ended up offending two locals so much that they beat the shit out of us. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2015 at 1:16pm / Japan / Health
by Angie / 09/12/2015 at 5:34pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, after carefully, and might I say, expertly removing all the hair from my girlfriend's genitals, she decided to try and "Nair" my balls. 24 hours later and I still can't walk properly and my balls look like they were involved in a severe kitchen incident. FML
by davetherave1983 / 09/09/2015 at 1:09am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Health
Today, most of my family was out of the house, so I took the opportunity to go to the bathroom and browse some porn. Five minutes later my sister comes and asks me to disconnect from bluetooth and that my "dinosaur noises" were blocking her and her friend's music. I'm currently hiding in shame. FML
by Nigel / 07/13/2015 at 5:15pm / United States / Intimacy
by smartass / 05/29/2015 at 10:31pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by kmctl / 05/20/2015 at 2:40pm / United States (California) / Work
- 1Today, I found out my parents have been slipping birth control pills into my morning orange juice… 2Today, I found out my husband has been catfishing my sixteen year-old brother for over a year. FML 3Today, I babysat a kid who was such a bratty little prick that I actually considered walking out on…