eternalibra

Search for a member

eternalibra

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 October 1988 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9066
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About eternalibra : My name is Mallory.
Users I like:
every1luvsboners
perdix
kingdingaling
pendatik
docbastard

eternalibra's page activity

Visits<b>saifnaqvi11</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 8:46pm<b>Mons</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 5:30pm<b>hasooon</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 8:40am<b>drunkmunkey</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 3:56pm<b>lennon_</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 1:42pm<b>Nooblah</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 8:47pm<b>punter123</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 7:35am<b>Rizzen</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 9:37am<b>FindingYujin</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 3:27am<b>Morticia</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 10:27pm<b>anoneemoose</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 9:25am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 8:37pm<b>Danny_Boy12</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:41pm<b>dre82</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 7:03am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 5:40am<b>brittany2230</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 8:48am<b>Daaaan</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 4:50pm<b>aishaa1</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 11:24pm

eternalibra's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of eternalibra's badges

eternalibra's favorite FMLs

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

by JAY22 / 03/26/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

by douchetard / 03/26/2009 at 3:37am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

by douchetard / 03/26/2009 at 3:37am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

by ohhotdamn / 03/25/2009 at 10:48pm / United States (Kansas) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

by Mason_Jayson / 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I stayed over at my grandparents' house. I woke up and had to brush my teeth. My grandma asked if I had found a toothbrush to use. I told her that I used my old purple toothbrush. She told me that was the toothbrush she used to brush her toenails. FML

by uofpalum / 03/18/2009 at 9:41pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Health

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

by gentileman / 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

by KAAALIS / 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML

by DanniRae / 03/13/2009 at 9:48am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

by MoneyMike / 03/11/2009 at 8:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the electric nose hair clippers that I've been using for the past two years are in fact my father's pubic hair trimmers. FML

by nickyniknaim93 / 03/11/2009 at 2:07am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I was alone in the breakroom when I got a slight pain in my belly. I thought I needed to pass gas, so I tried since no one else was in there. It wasn't gas. It was diarrhea. I'm wearing a mini skirt today. FML

by squirty_joe / 03/08/2009 at 2:37pm / United States / Work

Today, I bragged to a coworker that our boss compliments me constantly on my work performance, my fashion sense, and my trustworthiness. She then directed me to a "neighborhood watch" website. My boss is a registered sex offender. FML

by Kat / 03/08/2009 at 12:47am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

by Dang-ItsDanielle / 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was in the change room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML

by nuberific / 03/05/2009 at 1:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous