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eternalibra

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eternalibra

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 October 1988 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4242
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About eternalibra : My name is Mallory.
Users I like:
every1luvsboners
perdix
kingdingaling
pendatik
docbastard

eternalibra's page activity

Visits<b>punter123</b> - 18 hours ago<b>Rizzen</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 9:37am<b>FindingYujin</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 3:27am<b>Morticia</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 10:27pm<b>anoneemoose</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 9:25am<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 8:37pm<b>Danny_Boy12</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:41pm<b>dre82</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 7:03am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 5:40am<b>brittany2230</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 8:48am<b>Daaaan</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 4:50pm<b>aishaa1</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 11:24pm<b>gsaturnglow</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 7:55pm<b>ibmike22</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 4:16pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 8:20am<b>dotalover</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 4:29am<b>Paradoxxxx</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 9:18pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 4:57pm

eternalibra's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of eternalibra's badges

eternalibra's favorite FMLs

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

#18531059
175 comments

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

#18501609
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25403) - you deserved it (15884)

On 12/13/2011 at 7:26am - love - by reallyman__639 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, it's the last day of finals week. Unfortunately the only test I've passed this week is the pregnancy test I took during my lunch break in a Subway bathroom. FML

#18499980
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17114) - you deserved it (43548)

On 12/13/2011 at 12:16am - health - by LogicalMolly - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was out selling Christmas-themed calendars for charity door-to-door. I rang a doorbell and a wild-eyed man appeared at the door, shouted about being "on nights" and that I'd woken him up, called me a "bell end", threw a newspaper at me and slammed the door in my face. FML

#18492727
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13364) - you deserved it (24847)

On 12/12/2011 at 6:36am - misc - by firemansam - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML

#18491546
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35964) - you deserved it (3504)

On 12/12/2011 at 1:23am - intimacy - by brokedick (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML

#18490582
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8960) - you deserved it (40847)

On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

#18479276
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48098) - you deserved it (3607)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

#18474194
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23048) - you deserved it (18283)

On 12/10/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by godhatesme (man) - United States

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

#18468865
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31436) - you deserved it (2782)

On 12/09/2011 at 2:38pm - love - by Vince (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML

#18460196
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26452) - you deserved it (4442)

On 12/08/2011 at 12:41pm - kids - by childdreamkiller (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML

#18459479
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22987) - you deserved it (2273)

On 12/08/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by skidmark (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

#18452488
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35365) - you deserved it (18414)

On 12/07/2011 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

#18449583
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34927) - you deserved it (6608)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by Surprisebuttsecks? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that if a cop asks you if you have any weapons, and you reply by saying "only these guns" while flexing your biceps, they won't take it very well. And neither will the cops down at the station. FML

#18444451
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11405) - you deserved it (43628)

On 12/06/2011 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML

#18433688
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25919) - you deserved it (8420)

On 12/05/2011 at 1:13am - health - by lol (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)



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