eternal_malaise

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Offline (the 07/13/2014 at 7:11pm)

eternal_malaise

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 239
  • Number of comments : 121
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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eternal_malaise's page activity

Visits<b>KCbaby213</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 6:41pm<b>ChimeraThorne</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 5:24pm<b>notlovely</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 2:48am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 4:56pm<b>thats_savannah</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 3:14pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 9:56pm<b>stonealone</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 3:45pm<b>jacob2580</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 8:11pm<b>anastan</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 2:41pm<b>Kawakami_Momoyo</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 12:44am<b>vtaylor23</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 5:45pm<b>WilliamMurderfac</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 6:34am<b>cnparks1990</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 10:38pm<b>Mike09220</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 1:31pm<b>raphanne</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 6:02am<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 4:44pm<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 2:51am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 10/22/2013 at 3:14am

eternal_malaise's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of eternal_malaise's badges

eternal_malaise's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

by SlapAndTickle / 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm / United States / Kids

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

by UHM / 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm / United States / Love

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

by animal lover... / 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm / Animals

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

by soontobedivorced / 04/19/2009 at 12:05am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

by gentileman / 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy