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esavage

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esavage

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 June 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 950
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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esavage's page activity

Visits<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 1:28am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 9:16pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 9:57pm<b>Liiiiiiiiike</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 3:44am

Fucked!<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 7:28am

esavage's FML badges

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esavage's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML

#13493485
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13219) - you deserved it (37856)

On 10/18/2010 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making fun of a photo album on Facebook containing pictures of two friends who just got engaged. I jokingly asked her to marry me. She said yes. We have been dating for two months. She's not in on the joke. FML

#13491262
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11257) - you deserved it (48194)

On 10/17/2010 at 9:39pm - love - by jfranklin - United States

Today, my dad finally told me why he never paid child support to my mom when he was supposed to for the last ten years. His reason? Because I'm a girl and I wasn't that important. FML

#13397111
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35244) - you deserved it (3444)

On 10/10/2010 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML

#13338032
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12385) - you deserved it (55128)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:37am - love - by crucets (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

#13318955
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74277) - you deserved it (8326)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a crying kid was brought to my attention by a customer. He was so upset from losing his mom that he couldn't say his name or his moms name. I took him around the store asking him to point out his mom. Once we found her she told me "I was hiding from my kid to test his independence." FML

#13107358
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38620) - you deserved it (2675)

On 09/19/2010 at 12:27am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He went outside for a "breather" and never came back. FML

#12300042
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54645) - you deserved it (8786)

On 08/04/2010 at 12:20am - love - by Alisha Marie - United States (New York)

Today, I had to get an ultrasound, which required me to drink 3 glasses of water beforehand. The doctor said I had too much and told me to go pee out just a little and come back. It took a lot of effort to hold the rest in. The first thing she did when I got back was press on my abdomen. I peed myself. FML

#11102000
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42203) - you deserved it (4274)

On 06/10/2010 at 12:07pm - health - by Aciliveth (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53332) - you deserved it (10146)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)

Today, my boss told me that if I didn't become his neighbor on Farmville I wouldn't have a job. I laughed. He didn't. FML

#8687121
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32775) - you deserved it (2770)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:07am - work - by Anon - United States

Today, when setting up for a rehearsal, my eldest teacher was standing next to me. My music teacher announces that it will be a tight fit and hard for everyone to fit in the area. The old teacher next to me leans over and whispers, "I'd like to fit in your tight area." FML

#8153537
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31910) - you deserved it (2672)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by pinky (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I met my boyfriend's notoriously difficult mother. I had been looking forward to meeting her and making a good impression. Unfortunately, I could not greet her as her son's penis was still in my mouth. FML

#7318001
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31071) - you deserved it (15495)

On 01/13/2010 at 11:42am - intimacy - by pleasedtomeetyou (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was having passionate sex with my girlfiend of nine months. She's making a lot of noise so I tell her to keep it down and remind her my parents and sister downstairs. A few minutes later I get a text from my sister saying my parents want to make sure I'm wearing a condom. FML

#7222558
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9832) - you deserved it (26717)

On 01/08/2010 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by awskme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML

#7215986
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34603) - you deserved it (4284)

On 01/08/2010 at 11:35am - work - by WesJaz (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food and receipt. In a moment of insanity, I threw the receipt at the cashier and yelled "WOOHOO." I attempted to burn rubber and get the hell out of dodge, only to remember my car was in park. FML

#7093853
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5528) - you deserved it (57763)

On 01/01/2010 at 11:46pm - misc - by TacoFail (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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