esavage

Search for a member

Offline (the 06/27/2016 at 6:34am)

esavage

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 June 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1124
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

esavage's page activity

Visits<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 1:28am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 9:16pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 9:57pm<b>Liiiiiiiiike</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 3:44am

Fucked!<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 7:28am

esavage's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of esavage's badges

esavage's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting in social studies and someone threw a note at me. It said "Go fuck yourself, everyone hates you, just die." FML

by oheyimsarahh / 02/16/2011 at 10:30am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

by bride / 02/14/2011 at 1:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I texted her and I would never talk to her again. But I accidentally sent it to my other best friend, who responded, "I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out". My two best friends cheated with my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 02/12/2011 at 12:19am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, while in my doctor's packed waiting room, an elderly woman insisted I take her seat. I thanked her, but politely declined. She began to yell, saying I was "ungrateful", until I sat down. She then left, laughing, as I discovered that she peed in the chair. Apparently, she does this often. FML

by Summer_Jane / 02/03/2011 at 5:40am / United States (Oklahoma) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

by Malakai / 02/02/2011 at 12:57am / United States / Kids

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

by seepeezy32 / 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm / Intimacy

Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML

by Mervin22 / 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. The subject of abuse came up and I told her that if her father ever hurt her I would cut his dick off. The next thing I hear is, "Don't say shit you can't back up!" Her father had picked up the phone the moment I'd said it. FML

by Fucked / 01/24/2011 at 5:47pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. Right after, he left the room and went to the bathroom to throw up. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2011 at 9:13pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

by nemo518 / 12/23/2010 at 1:36am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend said that we can "maybe have sleepovers" at his house when he FINALLY moves out. He's 24, and we've been dating for 6 years. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2010 at 12:21am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I found out my daughter has a higher paid job in the same company I work in. I also found out she is dating my boss. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2010 at 12:10am / Indonesia / Work

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

by Annonmyus / 12/03/2010 at 3:56am / Intimacy

Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML

by Anonymous / 11/10/2010 at 12:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, a woman got out of a car to scream at me as I was walking with the kids I babysit, demanding to know where I was taking her children. Apparently the woman who pays me is also a babysitter, who I have been "covering" for on her party nights. The mother doesn't believe I didn't know this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2010 at 8:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids