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esavage

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esavage

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 June 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 356
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Liiiiiiiiike</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 3:44am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:39pm

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esavage's favorite FMLs

Today, while in my doctor's packed waiting room, an elderly woman insisted I take her seat. I thanked her, but politely declined. She began to yell, saying I was "ungrateful", until I sat down. She then left, laughing, as I discovered that she peed in the chair. Apparently, she does this often. FML

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43286) - you deserved it (7935)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

#14802825
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18658) - you deserved it (64805)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -

Today, I broke my arm. When I got home from the doctors with my cast, I fell asleep on the couch from the medicine. When I woke up, there were swastikas, "I love the KKK", and multiple penises written all over my cast. My dad thought it would be funny. FML

#14750549
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32444) - you deserved it (3940)

On 01/28/2011 at 11:10pm - health - by Mervin22 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone. The subject of abuse came up and I told her that if her father ever hurt her I would cut his dick off. The next thing I hear is, "Don't say shit you can't back up!" Her father had picked up the phone the moment I'd said it. FML

#14699951
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25195) - you deserved it (11807)

On 01/24/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Fucked (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. Right after, he left the room and went to the bathroom to throw up. FML

#14618651
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29944) - you deserved it (4608)

On 01/17/2011 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

#14305984
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40821) - you deserved it (8671)

On 12/23/2010 at 1:36am - intimacy - by nemo518 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend said that we can "maybe have sleepovers" at his house when he FINALLY moves out. He's 24, and we've been dating for 6 years. FML

#14305134
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23070) - you deserved it (7306)

On 12/23/2010 at 12:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out my daughter has a higher paid job in the same company I work in. I also found out she is dating my boss. FML

#14160788
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30979) - you deserved it (2959)

On 12/11/2010 at 12:10am - work - by Anonymous - Indonesia

Today, my boyfriend left me for my step-sister. He's been cheating on me with her for the past 6 months, and got her pregnant. I also found out that my stomach pains are due to the fact that I'm also pregnant. My family could officially qualify for Jerry Springer. FML

#14068536
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59716) - you deserved it (8802)

On 12/03/2010 at 3:56am - intimacy - by Annonmyus -

Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML

#13789664
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7090) - you deserved it (58743)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a woman got out of a car to scream at me as I was walking with the kids I babysit, demanding to know where I was taking her children. Apparently the woman who pays me is also a babysitter, who I have been "covering" for on her party nights. The mother doesn't believe I didn't know this. FML

#13567448
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33237) - you deserved it (2345)

On 10/23/2010 at 8:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur.' FML

#13493485
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11002) - you deserved it (34722)

On 10/18/2010 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making fun of a photo album on Facebook containing pictures of two friends who just got engaged. I jokingly asked her to marry me. She said yes. We have been dating for two months. She's not in on the joke. FML

#13491262
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9575) - you deserved it (44039)

On 10/17/2010 at 9:39pm - love - by jfranklin - United States

Today, my dad finally told me why he never paid child support to my mom when he was supposed to for the last ten years. His reason? Because I'm a girl and I wasn't that important. FML

#13397111
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31136) - you deserved it (3129)

On 10/10/2010 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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