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esavage

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esavage

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 June 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 332
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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esavage's page activity

Visits<b>Liiiiiiiiike</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 3:44am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 10:39pm

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esavage's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56053) - you deserved it (7821)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got shot at. Not by police, but by a hunter. While at work. Driving a garbage truck. How the hell a hunter mistook an orange-clad garbageman in a truck for a deer is beyond me. FML

#18188542
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30537) - you deserved it (2521)

On 11/07/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by lprocter1982 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
491 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34642) - you deserved it (48615)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

#15398872
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46027) - you deserved it (8126)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm - kids - by parenting_failure (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

#15334821
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15508) - you deserved it (46797)

On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

#15321178
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54053) - you deserved it (5160)

On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

#15287588
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11355) - you deserved it (36732)

On 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML

#15270660
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27164) - you deserved it (4109)

On 03/11/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by Laura (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

#15165919
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17585) - you deserved it (83053)

On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I lost a glove while snowboarding. I got off my board to find it, when a bunch of kids took the opportunity to kick my snowboard down the hill, while yelling "Run, Forrest, run!" as I frantically chased after it. FML

#15115506
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29569) - you deserved it (3927)

On 02/25/2011 at 3:37pm - misc - by gumpy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was sitting in social studies and someone threw a note at me. It said "Go fuck yourself, everyone hates you, just die." FML

#15001242
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47189) - you deserved it (4745)

On 02/16/2011 at 10:30am - misc - by oheyimsarahh - United States

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46710) - you deserved it (9260)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I texted her and I would never talk to her again. But I accidentally sent it to my other best friend, who responded, "I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out". My two best friends cheated with my boyfriend. FML

#14943630
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55058) - you deserved it (4246)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while in my doctor's packed waiting room, an elderly woman insisted I take her seat. I thanked her, but politely declined. She began to yell, saying I was "ungrateful", until I sat down. She then left, laughing, as I discovered that she peed in the chair. Apparently, she does this often. FML

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

#14806356
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42681) - you deserved it (7876)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States



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