esavage

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Offline (the 08/15/2016 at 6:16am)

esavage

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 June 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1229
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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esavage's page activity

Visits<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 1:28am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 9:16pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 9:57pm<b>Liiiiiiiiike</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 3:44am

Fucked!<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 7:28am

esavage's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of esavage's badges

esavage's favorite FMLs

Today, my roommate thought of a new idea for our household. According to him, we should take dumps at work as often as we can, that way, "we'll save on toilet paper at home." FML

by MrRadin / 12/04/2015 at 12:31am / France / Money

Today, during dinner, my boyfriend slowly walked up next to me, got on one knee, and in one movement pointed at my feet and shouted, "WHAT ARE THOSE?!" FML

by Wtf / 11/03/2015 at 5:06pm / Love

Today, a homeless man asked me for some change. Not having any cash, I gave him a gift card for the restaurant I work at. When I got home I realized I gave him my credit card. FML

by ealovan / 08/24/2015 at 12:18am / United States (Iowa) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

by belljars / 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. My wife got pissed when I didn't immediately check on her, but rather the other driver. That other driver was my daughter. FML

by Crashed / 01/01/2014 at 1:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

by ironies a b*tch / 04/13/2013 at 1:04am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I got shot at. Not by police, but by a hunter. While at work. Driving a garbage truck. How the hell a hunter mistook an orange-clad garbageman in a truck for a deer is beyond me. FML

by lprocter1982 / 11/07/2011 at 10:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

by failureparent / 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

by parenting_failure / 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm / Kids

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

by Almostfunny / 03/16/2011 at 9:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

by notthedad / 03/15/2011 at 11:50am / China / Love

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML

by Laura / 03/11/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

by Anon. / 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I lost a glove while snowboarding. I got off my board to find it, when a bunch of kids took the opportunity to kick my snowboard down the hill, while yelling "Run, Forrest, run!" as I frantically chased after it. FML

by gumpy / 02/25/2011 at 3:37pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids