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es3508

Offline (the 01/14/2014 at 4:21pm) | Search for a member

es3508

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  • Number of visits : 56
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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es3508's FML badges

YDI master

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es3508's favorite FMLs

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

#21194154
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28038) - you deserved it (41013)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm - kids - by BaWanda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

#21191137
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38404) - you deserved it (6725)

On 06/28/2014 at 2:28am - health - by Madridsta - United States (California)

Today, I took my driving test. It was all going well until out of habit from driving with my boyfriend, I reached over and held my instructor's hand. FML

#21154900
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42510) - you deserved it (15608)

On 05/28/2014 at 5:12pm - misc - by chevygirl51 - United States

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46235) - you deserved it (9092)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

#21078597
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63887) - you deserved it (5018)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:33am - health - by rolypoly (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my mom came into my room, yelling at me about a pregnancy test that she found in my bathroom. My mom wouldn't believe me when I said it wasn't mine. Turns out my sister bought the test, threw it under my bathroom cabinet, and now she won't admit to the prank. She thinks this is hilarious. FML

#21078463
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41042) - you deserved it (2843)

On 03/05/2014 at 12:43am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was reading FML's birthday blog post and saw a picture of myself in it. I would've been happy if it wasn't #4 in the list of worst duckfaces of the week. FML

#21040870
167 comments

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML

#21023350
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40137) - you deserved it (4713)

On 01/10/2014 at 6:15am - animals - by RaccoonFever - United States (California)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49123) - you deserved it (8632)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was forced to work with someone I absolutely hate. I then found myself starting to like him, until he shot me in the forehead with a stapler gun. FML

#20639773
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43160) - you deserved it (3620)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:30pm - work - by annoyedgirl - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom accused me of being pregnant. She wouldn't believe me when I told her I'm a virgin, and she challenged me to take a pregnancy test. It came back with a false positive. FML

#20634792
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53500) - you deserved it (3427)

On 05/01/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by DemiRawrs - United States

Today, my co-worker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML

#20029161
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19731) - you deserved it (6019)

On 08/19/2012 at 12:19am - work - by pridekills - United States (Florida)

Today, I successfully stopped my hair straightener from falling into a bathtub full of water by grabbing hold of the burning hot plates. FML

#20006687
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18791) - you deserved it (6678)

On 08/06/2012 at 11:08pm - health - by anonymous - Australia

Today, a homeless man asked me for money in a train station bathroom. When I told him I had no money he left. He then returned only to pour a bottle full of urine on my head while I was in the stall. I use a metro card. I honestly had no money. FML

#19861588
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28462) - you deserved it (1765)

On 06/28/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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