Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 01/31/2016 at 7:19pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 July 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 984
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

es3508's page activity

Visits<b>ToxicLover29</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 1:26am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 1:53pm<b>TOLL</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 2:01am<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 10:33pm<b>Kane322</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 12:23am<b>justin_slay</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 2:01pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 11:38am<b>dk1991</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 11:13am<b>moron011</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 3:41am<b>Damafia</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 5:10pm<b>user109012</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 4:45am<b>rostoney</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 2:42am<b>sabres5730</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 4:51pm<b>saba_ajira</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 8:48am<b>kudoosh</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 10:11pm<b>sullysair123</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 12:55am<b>Gillett</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 4:46am<b>DrummerWS</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 7:54pm

Fucked!<b>dk1991</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 5:13pm<b>moron011</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 9:41am<b>deachawill</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 4:36pm<b>kudoosh</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 7:39pm<b>akkianjum</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 11:26pm<b>Toodle_doo</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 12:20am<b>maxw59</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 6:01am<b>IMightBee</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 11:53am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 6:18am<b>Canyoudig_it</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:57am<b>Cayers97</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 4:03am<b>Manosapo</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 1:13am<b>Eryan2000</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 12:57am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 3:00pm<b>bigjake</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 6:44pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 12:18am<b>TOLL</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 9:06pm<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 7:25pm

es3508's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of es3508's badges

es3508's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33848) - you deserved it (2758)

On 04/04/2015 at 1:32pm - health - by fuck right off (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, my mom texted me and asked what I was up to. In response, I joked, "Dancing on the dining room table, waving dad's Calvin Klein's in the air, and shooting bullets into her bedroom floor." Not only did the cops show up, but now I'm grounded for two weeks for being, "deceptively believable." FML


I agree, your life sucks (34263) - you deserved it (5936)

On 12/08/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by #goodbyelife - United States

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML


I agree, your life sucks (34844) - you deserved it (3168)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34717) - you deserved it (4219)

On 10/21/2014 at 10:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40599) - you deserved it (5705)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31599) - you deserved it (46288)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm - kids - by BaWanda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42062) - you deserved it (7575)

On 06/28/2014 at 2:28am - health - by Madridsta - United States (California)

Today, I took my driving test. It was all going well until out of habit from driving with my boyfriend, I reached over and held my instructor's hand. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46436) - you deserved it (17416)

On 05/28/2014 at 5:12pm - misc - by chevygirl51 - United States

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51567) - you deserved it (10392)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML


I agree, your life sucks (69238) - you deserved it (5433)

On 03/05/2014 at 7:33am - health - by rolypoly (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my mom came into my room, yelling at me about a pregnancy test that she found in my bathroom. My mom wouldn't believe me when I said it wasn't mine. Turns out my sister bought the test, threw it under my bathroom cabinet, and now she won't admit to the prank. She thinks this is hilarious. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45630) - you deserved it (3512)

On 03/05/2014 at 12:43am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was reading FML's birthday blog post and saw a picture of myself in it. I would've been happy if it wasn't #4 in the list of worst duckfaces of the week. FML


Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45597) - you deserved it (5563)

On 01/10/2014 at 6:15am - animals - by RaccoonFever - United States (California)

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: