erynys

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Offline (the 08/31/2014 at 7:46pm)

erynys

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 November 1982 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7699
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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erynys's page activity

Visits<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 9:50pm<b>winchestinalock</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:09am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 11:42pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 4:32am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 6:30pm<b>Mahak1099</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:56pm<b>who_else00</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:09am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 5:10pm<b>BumbleChick</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 9:30pm<b>alijo1414</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 12:02pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 10:53am<b>NatsuD</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 9:18am<b>Toutejulie</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 5:49pm<b>angelitared</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 11:09pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 6:09am<b>Hammer6</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 7:04am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 12:25pm<b>QuixoticFox</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 2:28am

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

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erynys's favorite FMLs

Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML

by didntevenknow / 08/13/2012 at 11:06am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Intimacy

Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML

by oops / 07/29/2012 at 8:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML

by Deadcat101 / 07/10/2012 at 7:26pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

by Nomoreballs / 07/10/2012 at 7:10pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, my power finally came back on. I excitedly went and spent $100 to refill my fridge, only to come back home and discover the power is out again, and might not be back on for another three days. FML

by eggmarie / 07/10/2012 at 12:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2012 at 6:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

by Concert Flatulent / 07/10/2012 at 12:44am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting in my car waiting my shift to start. I must've fallen asleep because I woke up to a call from my boss firing me. I was in the parking lot. FML

by idiot / 07/09/2012 at 5:26pm / United States / Work

Today, I'm accused of vandalizing a cop car during a night of partying, and in so doing, violating my parole. While talking with my lawyer, who I spent all my savings on, I said he could hire better than his hideous secretary. Turns out she's his wife. I think I'm now more screwed than ever. FML

by jillie minaj / 07/09/2012 at 5:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

by randomguy / 07/09/2012 at 11:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

by LNamesOnly / 07/09/2012 at 3:31am / Australia / Kids

Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML

by wetandnaked / 07/09/2012 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML

by moodyreallyrocks / 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I paid a social visit to my grandparents. While we were watching the news, a story came on about the Queen of England. I scoffed, "How is she not dead already? How old is she, anyway?" My grandmother replied, "About my age." Oops. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 5:13pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 5:03pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous