erynys

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Offline (the 08/31/2014 at 7:46pm)

erynys

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 November 1982 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8025
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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erynys's page activity

Visits<b>katherhinooo</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 9:50pm<b>winchestinalock</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 11:09am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 11:42pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 4:32am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 6:30pm<b>Mahak1099</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:56pm<b>who_else00</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:09am<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 5:10pm<b>BumbleChick</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 9:30pm<b>alijo1414</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 12:02pm<b>HowieDoIt</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 10:53am<b>NatsuD</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 9:18am<b>Toutejulie</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 5:49pm<b>angelitared</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 11:09pm<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 6:09am<b>Hammer6</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 7:04am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 12:25pm<b>QuixoticFox</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 2:28am

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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erynys's favorite FMLs

Today, I took a pregnancy test. When I saw that the result was positive, I started crying and showed my mom. She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test. FML

by I'm stupid / 11/25/2012 at 10:08am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, after losing twenty pounds to please my husband, the only comment I received was, "At least now only your personality sucks." FML

by 123alleyesonme / 11/02/2012 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I went to the bar I've always gone to after work for the past 12 years. On arrival, I got banned for life, punched in the nose and thrown out. The barmaid comes out and says, "Sorry, wrong guy." FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2012 at 6:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, a cashier asked me if I would like to donate to breast cancer research. Since I have already made my donations this month, I politely declined. The cashier snorted and said, "Maybe you'll feel differently if someone you love got cancer." I'm a two-year survivor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2012 at 5:21am / United States / Money

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

by bucollegegirl / 10/08/2012 at 10:07am / United States / Intimacy

Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML

by embarrassed / 10/08/2012 at 5:12am / Australia (South Australia) / Love

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

by disgusted / 09/24/2012 at 3:16pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

by smashed / 09/24/2012 at 10:33am / United States / Kids

Today, I started my new job. Less than one hour into the day, my boss told me that the reason he hired me was that I was the least attractive of everyone he interviewed, so I'd be less likely to cause a distraction. FML

by Annette / 09/22/2012 at 12:17pm / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

by Grauncho / 09/22/2012 at 10:12am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

by Grauncho / 09/22/2012 at 10:12am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

by holyshitbatman / 09/22/2012 at 10:06am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

by holyshitbatman / 09/22/2012 at 10:06am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, while at work, I helped my ex-husband pick out a ring for the girl he cheated on me with. FML

by Sad ex-wife / 09/21/2012 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Love

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2012 at 8:03am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy