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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was on a flight and one of my friends was sitting next to this woman who happened to be sleeping with her mouth wide open. My friend decided to take a picture. While I was editing it, a man sitting behind us said "If you want to take a picture of my girlfriend, wait until she's awake". FML
I agree, your life sucks (4655) - you deserved it (42798)
On 07/24/2009 at 1:23am - love - by SexyPlayer9 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was shopping at COSTCO for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me I heard somebody say "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40894) - you deserved it (6330)
On 07/23/2009 at 1:23am - love - by costcocondoms (man) - Mexico (Baja California)
Today, my mom when randomly turned to me and said: "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54153) - you deserved it (3307)
On 07/08/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61306) - you deserved it (10730)
On 07/08/2009 at 1:06pm - intimacy - by onething (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was in charge of throwing a party for my mom. I told my little brother he was suppose to blow up the balloons which were in my dresser. Apparently, he accidentally found all my condoms, unknowingly, and decorated the house in prophylactics instead of balloons. Happy Birthday, Mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36205) - you deserved it (18453)
On 07/07/2009 at 3:43pm - intimacy - by Ryan (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56605) - you deserved it (4880)
On 06/29/2009 at 12:38pm - kids - by dad (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was informed from a fellow employee at a bar that he finally "hit" the boss' wife. I work for my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54370) - you deserved it (1593)
On 06/24/2009 at 5:59am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was playing a medieval game with my brother, when he took all of his character's clothes off and said, "Let's have sex!" I looked at him and said, "UH YOU ARE MY BROTHER!" He turns and looks at me, smiling and says, "But not in the game!" I am a 19 year old girl. He is 12. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59636) - you deserved it (3346)
On 06/10/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Sylvania - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85950) - you deserved it (50908)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69769) - you deserved it (14573)
On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10500) - you deserved it (62459)
On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I had to tell a girl I liked she couldn't sleep over because I live with my parents. I'm 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20286) - you deserved it (48656)
On 06/08/2009 at 3:32am - intimacy - by levit (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37003) - you deserved it (8453)
On 06/06/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by imfromtexas02 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (120449) - you deserved it (28815)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91769) - you deserved it (7456)
On 05/08/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - Kuwait
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