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errata's favorite FMLs
by anon / 12/27/2013 at 2:28am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML
by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work
Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML
by bluerhhajfk / 08/19/2013 at 7:29pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health
by Anonymous / 08/17/2013 at 6:52am / United States / Kids
Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML
by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by DreamStatic / 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
by Kat_Styles / 07/19/2013 at 4:51am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML
by fuck family / 07/17/2013 at 4:13pm / Poland (Dolnoslaskie) / Love
by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by keiran123 / 06/27/2013 at 7:15pm / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by the_lonely_life / 06/26/2013 at 9:02pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm / United States / Holidays
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
by Hannah / 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…