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errata

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errata

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 7 July 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 352
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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errata's page activity

Visits<b>LivingLouder</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 11:10pm<b>Julianne_sings</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 12:35pm<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 06/13/2013 at 8:16pm

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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errata's favorite FMLs

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52335) - you deserved it (4606)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

#21123212
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40350) - you deserved it (16886)

On 04/26/2014 at 1:57am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

#21101391
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43300) - you deserved it (32130)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to bail my brother out of jail because he started a fight with a guy who didn't like owls. FML

#21082949
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43440) - you deserved it (4051)

On 03/10/2014 at 4:22am - misc - by are you kidding me? - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML

#21020870
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34969) - you deserved it (31671)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45823) - you deserved it (3624)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went to take a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML

#21006941
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54333) - you deserved it (3462)

On 12/27/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by anon - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

#20963971
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25677) - you deserved it (63592)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43251) - you deserved it (5249)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

#20841455
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44912) - you deserved it (7359)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

#20817265
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56712) - you deserved it (5513)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by um... what the fuck, miss? (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I came out. FML

#20808725
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41467) - you deserved it (2759)

On 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm - health - by DreamStatic - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dentist dropped dead of a heart attack. This depressing event was made worse by the fact that he collapsed while his hands were in my mouth. FML



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