About erpaderp : My name's Erin.
I'm a sadistic, pacifistic, Jewish grammar nazi...
...and I'm Pokemon-obsessed, started out with a Charmander in red version.
Also, I'm pansexual, if that appeals to you out there.
Message me if you want; I'm pretty decent once you get to know me. But y'know...wubleh.
flaitscraig.tumblr.com
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Seen it!
You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38767) - you deserved it (570493)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33752) - you deserved it (109217)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139706) - you deserved it (32561)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26622) - you deserved it (62214)
On 05/09/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone." in a seductive tone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55105) - you deserved it (5533)
On 05/06/2009 at 12:13am - love - by Jinthebar (man) - United States (California)
Today, before going to bed my phone lit up and I got all excited because I thought it was a text message. My phone was finished charging. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20437) - you deserved it (33417)
On 05/03/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by nolove (woman) - Canada
Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47218) - you deserved it (12432)
On 04/29/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by PoopTart (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80224) - you deserved it (19303)
On 04/27/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by hjgjh - United States (California)
Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards that doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a maxi-pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a maxi-pad on my butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84058) - you deserved it (4028)
On 04/18/2009 at 10:24am - health - by Ian (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went to a bar with two guys I was interested in. The first I'd been trying to go out with all semester. The second I had gone to dinner with and he seemed nice. I was the designated driver. They drank too much and, on the way home, hooked up in the back seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85663) - you deserved it (10680)
On 04/16/2009 at 4:40am - intimacy - by sad_gay (man) - United States (California)
Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82207) - you deserved it (30308)
On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML
I agree, your life sucks (176504) - you deserved it (19136)
On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)
Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31124) - you deserved it (100325)
On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31483) - you deserved it (71971)
On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46768) - you deserved it (127842)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Monday 20 May 2013
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