Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About erpaderp : My name's Erin.
I'm a sadistic, pacifistic, Jewish grammar nazi...
...and I'm Pokemon-obsessed, started out with a Charmander in red version.
Also, I'm pansexual, if that appeals to you out there.
Message me if you want; I'm pretty decent once you get to know me. But y'know...wubleh.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML
Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was driving my family home, when my 7 year old son had to pee. Having long since passed any rest stops, I made him use a bottle. Once he was done, he grenaded the bottle out the window, hitting someone's windshield dead on. FML
Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Monday 1 September 2014