About erpaderp : My name's Erin.
I'm a sadistic, pacifistic, Jewish grammar nazi...
...and I'm Pokemon-obsessed, started out with a Charmander in red version.
Also, I'm pansexual, if that appeals to you out there.
Message me if you want; I'm pretty decent once you get to know me. But y'know...wubleh.
About erpaderp : My name's Erin.
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erpaderp's favorite FMLs
Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML
by aprilfools22 / 08/17/2011 at 4:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by creepedoutlady / 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 08/13/2011 at 2:58am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
by -_- / 08/12/2011 at 8:05pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML
by Joe / 08/04/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Florida) / Money
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
by Anonymous / 08/03/2011 at 1:03pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by indierocklove / 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
Today, I went bowling with my parents. This cute guy works there and he always flirts with me. My mom just so happened to see it today. As we left, she says to him "You know she's 13, right?" I'm 17. FML
by Michelle / 08/03/2011 at 2:01am / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML
by Anonymous / 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I got back from camp. My camp-mates? A girl who refused to shower the entire week, a girl who threatened to hurt me several times, a snorer, my princess of a sister who took forever in the mornings, and a counselor who watched us sleep. FML
by Tireddddddd / 07/31/2011 at 1:45am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by ewww / 07/30/2011 at 10:07am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/30/2011 at 12:35am / United States / Love
Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML
by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by sofargone420 / 07/29/2011 at 10:27am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by failure / 07/29/2011 at 2:19am / United States (California) / Love
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,… Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to…