Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About erpaderp : My name's Erin.
I'm a sadistic, pacifistic, Jewish grammar nazi...
...and I'm Pokemon-obsessed, started out with a Charmander in red version.
Also, I'm pansexual, if that appeals to you out there.
Message me if you want; I'm pretty decent once you get to know me. But y'know...wubleh.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.
Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left their sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML
Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML
Today, my best friend who I have known for ten years recommended I didn't continue a relationship with my girlfriend. I thought she wanted to go out with me which I was hoping for, for a long time. Turns out she wanted to go out with her. FML
Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML
Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML
Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML
Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML
Thursday 22 January 2015