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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1016
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About erichsalvesen : Just looking to judge people and chat!

erichsalvesen's page activity

Visits<b>whos_ur_daddy1</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 2:21am<b>EsotericBrent</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 11:58pm<b>Tom_The_Bomb</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:43pm<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 11:23pm<b>Nsswimmer</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 7:43am<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 3:16am<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 6:53pm<b>VengeanceChicken</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 2:58pm<b>OhNoAGhost</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 8:33pm<b>BrandyFaye</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 8:28pm<b>dancinwookie</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 7:49pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 6:08pm<b>LonerTheWolf35</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 4:58pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 3:01pm<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 2:59pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 1:54pm<b>jimmy_poison</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 6:35pm<b>Lacalema</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 3:39am

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erichsalvesen's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML

by failed brood mare / 11/17/2013 at 12:46pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad walked in on me jacking off. He swore and told me to lock my door next time. Later on I heard him snickering and telling my mom that I jack off "real weird." FML

by jack s.b. / 11/14/2013 at 5:15pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

by Madster15 / 09/15/2013 at 2:05am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

by So little trust. / 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I received a lovely letter from the council telling me I have to cease the act of "breeding and selling cats" because someone from my Facebook reported me. I'm pretty sure I've never owned a cat or had one in my house. FML

by suspicious / 07/04/2013 at 10:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina / 06/01/2013 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML

by datgirl92 / 05/24/2013 at 10:00am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I tried to show my boyfriend's mom a picture of my prom dress on my phone. She scrolled to the right to find a picture of her son, naked. FML

by beyondembarrassed / 05/05/2013 at 1:44am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML

by Anonymous / 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm / Saudi Arabia / Intimacy

Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML

by fuck you walmart / 04/26/2013 at 6:03pm / United States / Work

Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML

by Live Sweet / 04/25/2013 at 1:33am / Intimacy