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erf

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Visits<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 7:54am<b>Big_Pickle</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 11:44pm<b>VectorFields</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 8:09pm<b>Poppy8127</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 3:00pm<b>aussilynn3312</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 11:56pm<b>carleybeak</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 6:29am<b>sharmayank2</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 11:05pm<b>nialls_princess1</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 9:14pm<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 8:24pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 3:07am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 9:43pm<b>Whiplash169</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 8:14pm<b>fml85483</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 8:02pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 8:39pm<b>Pauschinator</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 1:48am<b>pacelily</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 7:29pm<b>gAt_d</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 5:05pm<b>musiesaint</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 7:26pm

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erf's favorite FMLs

Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML

#20951747
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42828) - you deserved it (10376)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by jsyn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML

#20942318
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56604) - you deserved it (5397)

On 11/02/2013 at 9:21am - intimacy - by justme - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (86433) - you deserved it (6186)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

#20937985
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45791) - you deserved it (12418)

On 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous - Zimbabwe

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46711) - you deserved it (5056)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I finally found a place to stay after being kicked out by my parents. The psycho owner waited till now to tell me that my bathroom door will remain locked at all times, and that whenever I want to go in there, I have to ask him to unlock it, then do my business while he waits outside. FML

#20926435
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40922) - you deserved it (3268)

On 10/19/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Belize (Belize)

Today, I went on a first date. He left me standing at a bus stop while he took a dump in some bushes. FML

#20922179
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47780) - you deserved it (4331)

On 10/15/2013 at 11:10pm - love - by highlydisgusted - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

#20919140
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36367) - you deserved it (12276)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today, while working as a swim instructor, I started singing the hokey pokey to get all the kids used to putting their faces in the water. One of the kids was covering his ears. When I asked him why, he said "because you were singing." He's 3. FML

#20842523
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39263) - you deserved it (6042)

On 08/18/2013 at 12:35am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML

#20841455
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44962) - you deserved it (7362)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad, under threats of disowning me, insisted that I offer my sister a job in my company. I run my own law firm, she is a hairdresser. FML

#20838513
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49178) - you deserved it (3139)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:34am - work - by lawman (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

#20838395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51878) - you deserved it (3712)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

Today, my sister admitted to selling pages of my diary to my old boyfriends. FML

#20837392
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44710) - you deserved it (3647)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:13pm - kids - by sisterly love - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep on the beach while tanning. I was woken up by the flock of seagulls eating the bread from my stomach. Why was bread on my stomach? Because my little brother knows birds are my biggest fear. FML

#20837323
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43425) - you deserved it (5447)

On 08/14/2013 at 4:28pm - animals - by Nanana32 (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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