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epicness98

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epicness98
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  • Number of visits : 72
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, a kid was ranting that "people these days are so rude" and that "things were much better in the '50s." Annoyed, I asked the delusional twat what was so great about the racial segregation, rampant sexism, homophobia, and all the rest back then. He responded by punching me. FML

#20792660
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40785) - you deserved it (13407)

On 07/19/2013 at 4:36pm - health - by "people these days" (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents. I work in a retirement home. FML

#20791178
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38346) - you deserved it (2816)

On 07/18/2013 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

#20763590
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55529) - you deserved it (4334)

On 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

#20763590
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55529) - you deserved it (4334)

On 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I had the questionable honor of explaining the difference between "your" and "you're" to my boss, and very diplomatically make her see why her poor grasp of language could affect our credibility as a communication agency. I'm Swedish, and English is my third language. She's American. FML

#20761131
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49216) - you deserved it (3120)

On 07/03/2013 at 2:48am - work - by grammarnazi-forareason (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

#20754108
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24181) - you deserved it (34328)

On 06/29/2013 at 10:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

#20741232
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47215) - you deserved it (10910)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me while screaming, "My precious!" FML

#20701776
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41445) - you deserved it (6804)

On 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

#20688489
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54473) - you deserved it (3712)

On 05/27/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by scared-straight - United States

Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML

#20683275
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32483) - you deserved it (3064)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:06am - misc - by redneckfamily - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML

#20683274
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31826) - you deserved it (3899)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:04am - animals - by seriously - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

#20671220
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43064) - you deserved it (4604)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML

#20646351
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29776) - you deserved it (38473)

On 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm - misc - by blondie107 - United States (Texas)

Today, for a laugh, I put vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar and went to the mall to eat it with a spoon. Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace. They shoved me into a back room and grilled me about what was in the jar. FML

#20632537
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39688) - you deserved it (17642)

On 04/30/2013 at 11:09am - misc - by longsock123 - United States (California)

Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML

#20623583
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43522) - you deserved it (2847)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:03pm - work - by fuck you walmart (woman) - United States



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