Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

epicnarwhal

Offline (the 02/08/2016 at 6:06am) | Search for a member

epicnarwhal

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1231
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

epicnarwhal's page activity

Visits<b>ThePaul007</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 10:30pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 3:01am<b>Thiaskia</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 11:27pm<b>ElricMustang</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 10:33pm<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 3:58am<b>carleybeak</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 9:13pm

epicnarwhal's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of epicnarwhal's badges

epicnarwhal's favorite FMLs

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

#21495080
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23404) - you deserved it (2158)

On 11/21/2015 at 5:03am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found my expensive lingerie I thought I had lost. In my 15-year-old brother's room. FML

#21494575
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24084) - you deserved it (2085)

On 11/19/2015 at 7:53pm - misc - by anon - New Zealand

Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML

#21493255
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25532) - you deserved it (3285)

On 11/16/2015 at 4:47pm - intimacy - by weldingmachine217 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, at a family dinner, my mom announced that my newborn brother was named after his father. His name is Kevin. My dad's name is Michael. FML

#21493096
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25973) - you deserved it (1610)

On 11/16/2015 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Maldives (Maale)

Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML

#21492006
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22284) - you deserved it (1473)

On 11/13/2015 at 7:34am - misc - by Anonymousse (man) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I farted myself awake, in a car full of my boyfriend's family. FML

#21491232
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23811) - you deserved it (2924)

On 11/11/2015 at 11:52am - health - by The horror... (woman) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML

#21489374
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24301) - you deserved it (1997)

On 11/06/2015 at 9:03pm - health - by Anonymouse -

Today, I went to the dentist to get a tooth worked on. I got tongue-tied and instead of asking if they could anesthetize me, I accidentally asked if they could euthanize me. FML

#21488826
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20191) - you deserved it (2344)

On 11/05/2015 at 3:52pm - health - by EnderHorse - United States (Ohio)

Today, our dog died. My daughter was really upset about it, so my husband tried to cheer her up. "At least she will be doing something that she liked forever: Sleeping!" My daughter continued to cry for half an hour. FML

#21488594
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21061) - you deserved it (1832)

On 11/04/2015 at 10:57pm - animals - by Why? - United States (Iowa)

Today, I took my 2 year old to the potty in a public restroom. I was just about to set her on the toilet when the automatic flush went off, scaring her and causing her to pee all over both of us. FML

#21394708
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32130) - you deserved it (2786)

On 04/16/2015 at 2:36pm - kids - by klutz44 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I heard my 2-year-old sister crying, so I left my room to comfort her. She looked at me, held my hand, escorted me back to my room and closed the door. FML

#21392817
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31953) - you deserved it (2943)

On 04/13/2015 at 6:46am - kids - by transcendingnerd (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

#21301827
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40304) - you deserved it (4725)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:27am - intimacy - by jigglypluff (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because of the scratch marks on my back. I didn't have the nerve to tell her I tried to shower with the cat. FML

#21300928
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20982) - you deserved it (33888)

On 11/17/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML

#21081555
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45871) - you deserved it (4560)

On 03/08/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: