Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

epicfailburger

Search for a member

epicfailburger

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1296
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

epicfailburger's page activity

Visits<b>BigSeedDeed99</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 1:58pm<b>brewestry</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 11:51am<b>catherineo</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 12:20am<b>cr1mson_k1ss</b> - the 05/31/2010 at 4:22am

epicfailburger's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

epicfailburger's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a strong feeling that someone was watching me as I was undressing to get ready for bed. I conspicuously moved to the door and threw it open to find my step-brother clearly spying on me. We are the same age, live in the same house three weeks a month and in the same English class. FML

#9006202
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26857) - you deserved it (2222)

On 03/11/2010 at 8:18pm - misc - by meowtickmeow - United States (Ohio)

Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML

#8911500
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26317) - you deserved it (3689)

On 03/08/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by raidered - United States (California)

Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML

#8910408
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31843) - you deserved it (2204)

On 03/08/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by itsEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

#8905229
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8808) - you deserved it (32783)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got on an empty tram and decided to sit at the back. A few minutes in I start to hear a noise and thinking it was the tram, decided to ignore it. When I heard what sounded like an evil giggle, I looked around to see that it wasn't the tram, but it was some creepy middle aged man taking photos of me. FML

#8891257
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24824) - you deserved it (2075)

On 03/07/2010 at 11:29am - misc - by tramrider - United Kingdom (Greater London)

Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML

#8882513
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8855) - you deserved it (21783)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by OhaiiKid (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I'm a 25-year-old married woman and I'm currently living with my grandfather to take care of him. Today, he grounded me. FML

#8766084
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27398) - you deserved it (3555)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by grounded. - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML

#8763974
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21158) - you deserved it (5302)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by sleeper - Sent from mobile version

Today, I missed points on a math quiz because I thought 2 times 5 was 20. I'm a math major. FML

#8663559
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7814) - you deserved it (32807)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:57pm - misc - by mathhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a drunk man opened the unlocked door to my house thinking it was his house. He tried to attack me because he thought I was a burglar. FML

#8516806
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27892) - you deserved it (6740)

On 02/21/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by jerrid - United States (California)

Today, I went to the hospital to get my ingrown toenail removed. The doctors put me on a little surgery table and told me to relax. They then injected anesthetic into my toe four times and used a pair of scissors to slowly cut through my nail. Only, the anesthetic hadn't started to work just yet. FML

#8474571
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26973) - you deserved it (2205)

On 02/20/2010 at 10:13am - health - by papertrains (woman) - Singapore

Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my "wanker-stick" was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML

#7441309
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18382) - you deserved it (5537)

On 01/19/2010 at 6:18pm - intimacy - by kappaomicron (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8496) - you deserved it (58300)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was on a red-eye flight, and the woman beside me was chattering loudly to her friend. I opened my laptop and got to work. Suddenly, one of the women turned to me and told me that the clicking of my keyboard was too loud. She then called me an inconsiderate selfish bitch. FML

#6639706
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38309) - you deserved it (2054)

On 12/06/2009 at 9:08pm - misc - by HassledAirfarer (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went onto the treadmill at my gym. When it prompted me to enter my age I put 27. I'm 29 and am lying about my age to a workout machine. FML

#6418903
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8067) - you deserved it (34259)

On 11/23/2009 at 4:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: