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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1455
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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epicfailburger's page activity

Visits<b>tacobutt</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 1:17pm<b>enderman99125</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 2:10pm<b>BigSeedDeed99</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 1:58pm<b>brewestry</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 11:51am<b>catherineo</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 12:20am<b>cr1mson_k1ss</b> - the 05/31/2010 at 4:22am

epicfailburger's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

epicfailburger's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a strong feeling that someone was watching me as I was undressing to get ready for bed. I conspicuously moved to the door and threw it open to find my step-brother clearly spying on me. We are the same age, live in the same house three weeks a month and in the same English class. FML

by meowtickmeow / 03/11/2010 at 8:18pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML

by raidered / 03/08/2010 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML

by itsEVERYWHERE / 03/08/2010 at 12:34am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

by Numbnuts / 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got on an empty tram and decided to sit at the back. A few minutes in I start to hear a noise and thinking it was the tram, decided to ignore it. When I heard what sounded like an evil giggle, I looked around to see that it wasn't the tram, but it was some creepy middle aged man taking photos of me. FML

by tramrider / 03/07/2010 at 11:29am / United Kingdom (Greater London) / Transportation

Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML

by OhaiiKid / 03/07/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Georgia) / Geek

Today, I'm a 25-year-old married woman and I'm currently living with my grandfather to take care of him. Today, he grounded me. FML

by grounded. / 03/02/2010 at 1:46am / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML

by sleeper / 03/02/2010 at 12:05am / Transportation

Today, I missed points on a math quiz because I thought 2 times 5 was 20. I'm a math major. FML

by mathhhh / 02/26/2010 at 12:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, a drunk man opened the unlocked door to my house thinking it was his house. He tried to attack me because he thought I was a burglar. FML

by jerrid / 02/21/2010 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the hospital to get my ingrown toenail removed. The doctors put me on a little surgery table and told me to relax. They then injected anesthetic into my toe four times and used a pair of scissors to slowly cut through my nail. Only, the anesthetic hadn't started to work just yet. FML

by papertrains / 02/20/2010 at 10:13am / Singapore / Health

Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my "wanker-stick" was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML

by kappaomicron / 01/19/2010 at 6:18pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2009 at 3:06am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a red-eye flight, and the woman beside me was chattering loudly to her friend. I opened my laptop and got to work. Suddenly, one of the women turned to me and told me that the clicking of my keyboard was too loud. She then called me an inconsiderate selfish bitch. FML

by HassledAirfarer / 12/06/2009 at 9:08pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I went onto the treadmill at my gym. When it prompted me to enter my age I put 27. I'm 29 and am lying about my age to a workout machine. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2009 at 4:54am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous