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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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epicfailburger

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epicfailburger
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 455
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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epicfailburger's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a strong feeling that someone was watching me as I was undressing to get ready for bed. I conspicuously moved to the door and threw it open to find my step-brother clearly spying on me. We are the same age, live in the same house three weeks a month and in the same English class. FML

#9006202 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (19303) - you deserved it (1417)

On 03/11/2010 at 8:18pm - misc - by meowtickmeow - United States (Ohio)

Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML

#8911500 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (18714) - you deserved it (2526)

On 03/08/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by raidered - United States (California)

Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML

#8910408 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (23280) - you deserved it (1403)

On 03/08/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by itsEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

#8905229 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (5764) - you deserved it (20864)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got on an empty tram and decided to sit at the back. A few minutes in I start to hear a noise and thinking it was the tram, decided to ignore it. When I heard what sounded like an evil giggle, I looked around to see that it wasn't the tram, but it was some creepy middle aged man taking photos of me. FML

#8891257 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (18042) - you deserved it (1325)

On 03/07/2010 at 11:29am - misc - by tramrider - United Kingdom (Greater London)

Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML

#8882513 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (5830) - you deserved it (14057)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by OhaiiKid (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, an elderly lady swore at me for not holding a door open for her. The door in question was automatic. FML

#8800803 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (17492) - you deserved it (1312)

On 03/03/2010 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I'm a 25-year-old married woman and I'm currently living with my grandfather to take care of him. Today, he grounded me. FML

#8766084 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (20184) - you deserved it (2519)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by grounded. - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks (14473) - you deserved it (3760)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:05am - misc - by sleeper - Sent from mobile version

Today, I missed points on a math quiz because I thought 2 times 5 was 20. I'm a math major. FML

#8663559 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (4880) - you deserved it (21214)

On 02/26/2010 at 12:57pm - misc - by mathhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a drunk man opened the unlocked door to my house thinking it was his house. He tried to attack me because he thought I was a burglar. FML

#8516806 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (20732) - you deserved it (4813)

On 02/21/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by jerrid - United States (California)

Today, I went to the hospital to get my ingrown toenail removed. The doctors put me on a little surgery table and told me to relax. They then injected anesthetic into my toe four times and used a pair of scissors to slowly cut through my nail. Only, the anesthetic hadn't started to work just yet. FML

#8474571 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (18909) - you deserved it (1359)

On 02/20/2010 at 10:13am - health - by papertrains (woman) - Singapore

Today, I got out of bed and went downstairs in my boxers to get a glass of water. I entered the kitchen and said hi to my visiting mother-in-law, who smiled. Only after a good ten minutes did she decide to tell me that my "wanker-stick" was hanging from a gap in my boxers. FML

#7441309 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (11413) - you deserved it (3648)

On 01/19/2010 at 6:18pm - intimacy - by kappaomicron -

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (5183) - you deserved it (39127)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was on a red-eye flight, and the woman beside me was chattering loudly to her friend. I opened my laptop and got to work. Suddenly, one of the women turned to me and told me that the clicking of my keyboard was too loud. She then called me an inconsiderate selfish bitch. FML

#6639706 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (29551) - you deserved it (1285)

On 12/06/2009 at 9:08pm - misc - by HassledAirfarer (woman) - United States (California)