Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

eog314

Search for a member

eog314

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4554
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

eog314's page activity

Visits<b>dKateb</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 2:45pm

eog314's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

eog314's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I have a "drinking problem". She says I don't drink enough. FML

#17566686
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31055) - you deserved it (5107)

On 08/24/2011 at 7:34am - love - by fmlTGOD - United States

Today, my ex-wife crashed my engagement party. FML

#17566039
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31189) - you deserved it (3422)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my aunt and uncle stole $584 from me, since I'm moving out. Their reasoning? I stole things. When I asked what I'd stolen, my aunt looked me straight in the eye and said "Milk Duds." FML

#17566014
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29980) - you deserved it (2762)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:03am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to switch my glass of coke with a glass of pure vinegar. FML

#17557483
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25483) - you deserved it (8495)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:15pm - misc - by Skidaddle123 - United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire)

Today, I asked my two children why they smelled like pee after we had gotten lunch at McDonald's. They told me that they were playing in the puddles in the play-place. FML

#17557352
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32236) - you deserved it (4120)

On 08/23/2011 at 11:55am - kids - by Username - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24313) - you deserved it (4207)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I passed a kidney stone. This is the third one in two years. I'm only 23. FML

#17555427
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28240) - you deserved it (4843)

On 08/23/2011 at 3:30am - health - by Lorus (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML

#17555349
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28764) - you deserved it (2467)

On 08/23/2011 at 3:14am - misc - by kykynevs - United States (Illinois)

Today, while going around trying to find a job, a manager came up to ask me, "Are you looking to work here?" I nodded happily, hoping this would be the end of my search. She looked me up and down, saw I had a jacket on to hide my tattoos and said, "Sorry, I can't hire heroin addicts." FML

#17555220
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26489) - you deserved it (9403)

On 08/23/2011 at 2:50am - work - by Protectress (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came in to work looking very tan. I took Friday off to go to a friend's funeral, which was outdoors, and I tan very easily. Now my boss and everyone else thinks I lied about my friend's death to get off work on a Friday. FML

#17549181
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30132) - you deserved it (2678)

On 08/22/2011 at 4:34pm - work - by waytootan (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML

#17548776
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18755) - you deserved it (39560)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML

#17547922
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31130) - you deserved it (3013)

On 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by Say Cheese - United States (Michigan)

Today, it was my birthday, and my kids gave me my car keys I had "lost" a week ago. FML

#17547713
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27465) - you deserved it (2827)

On 08/22/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by rene - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom let it slip that she was divorcing my dad. After making me promise to keep it from him and my little sisters, she had me help her with her plans to renovate the house. She intends to kick him out once it's done. FML

#17547423
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26529) - you deserved it (2173)

On 08/22/2011 at 12:06pm - love - by kris (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my house got egged. Why? As a joke, my friend bought me a doormat that says, "A Canadian Lives Here." I'm Canadian. FML

#17547358
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23055) - you deserved it (4418)

On 08/22/2011 at 11:58am - misc - by socialdisease - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: