Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

eog314

Search for a member

eog314

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4594
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

eog314's page activity

Visits<b>dKateb</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 2:45pm

eog314's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

eog314's favorite FMLs

Today, while bitching some girl out for spilling coffee all over me, she looks at me with accepting eyes and says after I'd finished, "I can understand your anger, big girls like you get grumpy when they're hungry." FML

#17606800
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12472) - you deserved it (42828)

On 08/28/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

#17606704
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30502) - you deserved it (8676)

On 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm - kids - by cjay2200 - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML

#17597730
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28842) - you deserved it (2584)

On 08/27/2011 at 6:59pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went to a concert. The music was great, but the drunk guys behind me made it hard to pay attention. Half way through the second act, one of them took it upon themselves to start peeing on me. FML

#17597553
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29095) - you deserved it (2352)

On 08/27/2011 at 6:40pm - misc - by concertqueen - United States (California)

Today, thanks to my peripheral vision and a dropped mirror, I realized that I have horrible acne on my ass. FML

#17597483
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24376) - you deserved it (4831)

On 08/27/2011 at 6:30pm - health - by acnebutt - United States (Maryland)

Today, I noticed how big my brother's package is. If it hadn't been for the fact that my family has taken up walking around naked half the day, I never would have had to. FML

#17594618
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30391) - you deserved it (3658)

On 08/27/2011 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got into a heated argument with my mom, because apparently I'm an idiot for not sharing her belief that chickens are mammals. She has a university degree in this stuff. FML

#17586338
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26115) - you deserved it (3246)

On 08/26/2011 at 2:29pm - animals - by James - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML

#17584476
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30018) - you deserved it (3207)

On 08/26/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by christine brown - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got a text message from a number I don't know saying "I'm sorry, but I'm cheating on you, I couldn't do this in person because you're ugly when you cry." I haven't had a relationship in 6 years and I still manage to get dumped. FML

#17584361
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35526) - you deserved it (2668)

On 08/26/2011 at 7:09am - love - by j_babydoll6520 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at my boyfriend's house, I met his mother for the first time. And promptly fell in their pond. FML

#17584305
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22851) - you deserved it (3603)

On 08/26/2011 at 6:41am - love - by the girlfriend (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my doctor asked for a urine sample. It's the first time I've tried to cup my own pee. Despite the fact that I'm a woman, I managed to aim wrong, and sprayed the floor, hit the door and my handbag with my own pee. FML

#17584076
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19472) - you deserved it (14553)

On 08/26/2011 at 5:09am - health - by goldengirl - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a club. The only guy who asked me to dance introduced himself as "Bird Dog." FML

#17583731
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23353) - you deserved it (3168)

On 08/26/2011 at 3:35am - love - by EpicMayonnaise (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML

#17576599
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31019) - you deserved it (3996)

On 08/25/2011 at 10:33am - love - by hendrix1 - United States (California)

Today, I got tipped more than I have in my bank account. It was $5. FML

#17575849
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25438) - you deserved it (5523)

On 08/25/2011 at 6:16am - money - by Topher (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I've gotten the most calls of my life. Turns out the idiot who changed the sign on my local pizza hut put up the wrong phone number. My phone number. I've already received 16 calls. FML

#17568217
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24235) - you deserved it (2207)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:14pm - misc - by Marty - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: