This member hasn't filled in the description.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went to have dessert with my boyfriend. We ordered some Jello. I said that I loved Jello because it is so fun and jiggly. My boyfriend said, "Like you. Except the fun part". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39480) - you deserved it (4633)
On 02/25/2009 at 9:23pm - misc - by Jello (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (102607) - you deserved it (17440)
On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53257) - you deserved it (17133)
On 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by NeverGonnaGetAny (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML
I agree, your life sucks (117750) - you deserved it (8396)
On 02/23/2009 at 7:51am - kids - by lifesucks4me - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (204017) - you deserved it (40360)
On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (90938) - you deserved it (7446)
On 02/18/2009 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsohappy (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (177627) - you deserved it (61404)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at work. I work at a grocery store and a woman pulls a cart to me filled with chips, breads, lunch meats, and sodas. I said to her "Looks like you are going to have a fun party" she then looks at me and says "My mother just died, this is for after the funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30745) - you deserved it (7949)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by KMKWEEN (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27374) - you deserved it (1849)
On 02/13/2009 at 3:40pm - misc - by samrodpuertorico (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (407528) - you deserved it (26465)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (134275) - you deserved it (37233)
On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML
I agree, your life sucks (229276) - you deserved it (22789)
On 02/10/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by maxthndr (man) - United States
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. When she asked me to pick up her thong from behind my bed I realized there were two. I didn't pick up hers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9479) - you deserved it (113178)
On 02/09/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by Dulieu (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML
I agree, your life sucks (483281) - you deserved it (43392)
On 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm - misc - by bittersweet - United States (New York)
Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25008) - you deserved it (2548)
On 02/07/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
