Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

eog314

Search for a member

eog314

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7894
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

eog314's page activity

Visits<b>B4bynunn</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 9:44am<b>dKateb</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 2:45pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:05pm

eog314's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

eog314's favorite FMLs

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
521 comments

I agree, your life sucks (258331) - you deserved it (88111)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work. I work at a grocery store and a woman pulls a cart to me filled with chips, breads, lunch meats, and sodas. I said to her "Looks like you are going to have a fun party" she then looks at me and says "My mother just died, this is for after the funeral. FML

#52207
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41940) - you deserved it (10221)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by KMKWEEN (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML

#37714
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37364) - you deserved it (2834)

On 02/13/2009 at 3:40pm - misc - by samrodpuertorico (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

#29912
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (176522) - you deserved it (50654)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. When she asked me to pick up her thong from behind my bed I realized there were two. I didn't pick up hers. FML

#18252
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15564) - you deserved it (162902)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:41pm - misc - by Dulieu (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

#13946
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34350) - you deserved it (3653)

On 02/07/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

#13946
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34350) - you deserved it (3653)

On 02/07/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. FML

#13325
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14904) - you deserved it (71059)

On 02/07/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by name50 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

#12567
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (310842) - you deserved it (56403)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

#1702
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33285) - you deserved it (9636)

On 01/19/2009 at 5:26am - money - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I sent a text message to my boyfriend, saying "Come over in an hour, I love you." An hour later, the doorbell rang. It was my ex, looking happy and still as taken with me as before, with a bunch of roses. I'd got the wrong number. My ex and my boyfriend have the same name. FML

#432
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14197) - you deserved it (42209)

On 12/01/2008 at 11:57pm - love - by eleonor - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: